[first lines]
Mike J.: Hello, I'm a British person, and it's that time of year again... Winter. But for some reason, we feel the need to fill our homes with trees; what the hell's that about? And what's a better way to kick off the festive season than by taking a look at a movie so infuriating, it's been the cause of three murders a year since its release - all by me. Fred: The Movie, because an Internet celebrity who rants at a camera deserves to make a movie. Look out for NerdQuest, coming in 2013. Now I know it may be easy to have a lot of preconceptions about Fred: The Movie, having seen his online show, but I want to give this fair a chance as possible. So, let's give it a go.
Fred: Hi, it's Fred!
Mike J.: Fuck off!
[leaves the room, but shortly returns]
Mike J.: It is the season of kindness, I suppose. Come on.
Fred: Oh, my gammit. I'm so excited!
Mike J.: Fuck off!
[leaves once again, but soon returns to continue the review]