"The Simpsons" Moonshine River (TV Episode 2012) - Dan Castellaneta as Homer Simpson, Mayor Quimby, Arnie Pye, Cab Driver

Homer Simpson : You've learned a valuable lesson, son. Love doesn't exist except briefly between a man and a woman before marriage. After that, it's just hanging out with someone who kind of hates you, but you can't get it together to leave.
Bart Simpson : Come on, dad. You love New York, now that your two least favorite buildings have been obliterated; Old Penn Station and Shea Stadium.

Homer Simpson : Lousy outdated relics.
Homer Simpson : New York has sure changed since our ancestor Fievel came here.

Lisa Simpson : Fievel was a mouse in a movie.

Homer Simpson : Yes, now look at us. Only in America.
Homer Simpson : Boy, if anyone needs me, I'll be taking a popcorn bath. It's a thing I read about in a men's health magazine in a dream.
Homer Simpson : Hey, what are you looking at?

Bart Simpson : My ex-girlfriends.

Homer Simpson : Ah, boy, I feel for ya. Nobody likes to be rejected, and it never gets any easier until you can drink, 'cause then you can express your unfiltered feelings by drunk dialing. Observe...

[Homer picks up the phone]

Homer Simpson : Hey, it's me again. He's there, isn't he? Well, I hope this doesn't sound weird, but I'm inside your closet.

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Mayor Quimby, Arnie Pye, Cab Driver