- Frank Rossitano: Kenneth, we were just out on the Plaza, and four flaming horses rode by.
- Kenneth Parcell: Reverend Gary says super-gay horses are one of the signs of the apocalypse!
- Liz Lemon: I'm wondering why I received an email confirming my membership in a dating service called desperationships.com.
- Jack Donaghy: Because after six years, I know you're depressed after spending the holidays alone.
- Liz Lemon: I'm not depressed, Jack. And I don't need some dumb dating website.
- Jack Donaghy: What if I told you your first match burned his groin off in an accident at his cake shop.
- Liz Lemon: [gasps] ... No.
- Kenneth Parcell: I'm finally doing my dream chores.
- Pete Hornberger: Give me that.
- [reads list]
- Pete Hornberger: "Scrape sticker off ceiling, fix that humming noise only I can hear, organize snack table by food Jewishness." Kenneth, this stuff isn't even your job.
- Kenneth Parcell: That's why they're dream chores.
- Pete Hornberger: Look, if it was my last day on Earth I wouldn't be here, I'd be with Paula, admitting I'm in love with her twin sister.