- Llewyn Davis: [on Please Mr. Kennedy song] Hey, look... I'm really happy for the gig but who... who wrote this?
- Jim: I did.
- Roland Turner: A solo act?
- Llewyn Davis: No, I had a partner... he threw himself off the George Washington Bridge.
- Roland Turner: George Washington Bridge? You throw yourself off the Brooklyn Bridge, traditionally. George Washington Bridge? Who does that?
- Jean: I should have had you wear double condoms. Well, we shouldn't have done it in the first place, but if you ever do it again, which as a favor to women everywhere, you should not, but if you do, you should be wearing condom on condom, and then wrap it in electrical tape. You should just walk around always inside a great big condom because you are *shit*!
- Jean: Do you ever think of the future at all?
- Llewyn Davis: The future? You mean like flying cars? Hotels on the moon? Tang?
- Llewyn Davis: In my experience, the world's divided into two kinds of people. Those who divide the world into two kinds of people...
- Jean: And losers?
- Roland Turner: What's the "N" stand for? Lou N. Davis?
- Llewyn Davis: Llewyn. Llewyn, L-L-E-W-Y-N. It's Welsh.
- Roland Turner: Well, it would have to be something, stupid fucking name like that. You don't look Welsh.
- Llewyn Davis: Well, I could say we should talk about this when you're less angry, but that would be... that'd be... when would that be?
- Jean: Fuck you!
- Llewyn Davis: What is that? What are you doing?
- Lillian Gorfein: It's Mike's part.
- Llewyn Davis: Don't do that!
- Lillian Gorfein: It's Mike's part.
- Llewyn Davis: I know that it is. Don't do that. Oh well. You know what, this is bullshit. I'm sorry... I don't do this, okay? I do this for a living. It's not a, not a fucking parlor game.
- Llewyn Davis: Have you ever heard of the expression, "it takes two to tango"?
- [On the bench, when Jean is blaming him for the pregnancy]
- Llewyn Davis: What is his thing?
- Jim: Huh?
- Llewyn Davis: Him. Troy.
- Jim: Wonderful performer.
- Llewyn Davis: Is he?
- Jim: Wonderful.
- Llewyn Davis: Does he have a higher function?
- Llewyn Davis: Thank you, I appreciate it. I needed this, as you know.
- Cromartie: Yeah.
- Llewyn Davis: We'll be touring, right?
- Jim: [from across the room] Touring Uranus.
- Llewyn Davis: I'll get my vaccinations.
- Llewyn Davis: [to the crowd lining up outside the Gaslight Café] The show's bullshit. Four Micks and Grandma Moses.
- Jean: You don't want to go anywhere, and that's why the same shit's going to keep happening to you, because you want it to.
- Llewyn Davis: Is that why?
- Jean: Yes, and also because you're an asshole!
- Llewyn Davis: [talking to the cat] What's your name again?
- Llewyn Davis: [the cat escapes from him, through the window] Oh shit. No, no! Oh. Fuck, goddamnit, oh shit!
- Roland Turner: [to Llewyn] I studied Santeria and certain other things that squares like you would call the black arts due to lack of understanding, from Chano Pozo in New Orleans. You say you'll mess me up? I don't have to make those childish threats. I do my thing and one day you wake up wondering: "Why do I have this pain in my side?" Or maybe it won't even be that specific. Maybe it's: "Why is nothing going right for me? My life is a big bowl of shit. I don't remember making this big bowl of shit." Meantime, Roland Turner is a thousand miles away, laughing his ass off. Think about that, Elwin. In this car, bad manners won't work.
- Llewyn Davis: Could you just tell him don't worry, Llewyn has the cat
- Receptionist: Llewyn is the cat?
- Joy: Seen him?
- [their father]
- Llewyn Davis: Yeah.
- [pause]
- Llewyn Davis: What? Should I?
- Joy: You tell me, he's your father.
- Llewyn Davis: Yeah, he sure is.
- Llewyn Davis: I'm freezin. Can we talk?
- Jean: Not here. Fuck you.
- Llewyn Davis: I'm sorry, which? "Out" or "fuck you"?
- Llewyn Davis: Who is Arthur Milgrum?
- Al Cody: Oh that's me. I'm gonna change it legally, at some point.
- Jean: I'm sad? You're the one who's not going anywhere. You don't wanna get anywhere. Me and Jim try.
- Llewyn Davis: I wanna...
- Jean: We try, you sleep on the couch!
- Llewyn Davis: It's a bad thing to throw on my face, you know that?
- Elizabeth Hobby: This is my first time playing in New York...
- Llewyn Davis: [from the audience, drunk] How'd you get the gig, Betty?