The Vampire Diaries (TV Series)
1912 (2012)
Ian Somerhalder: Damon Salvatore
Photos
Quotes
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Damon Salvatore : Dear Diary, a chipmunk asked me my name today. I told him it was Joe. That lie will haunt me forever.
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Damon Salvatore : Well, I guess I could rip out Dr. False-Accusation's throat. Or maybe her tongue. I could chew it up into tiny pieces and feed it to the squirrels.
[imitates squirrel eating]
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Damon Salvatore : Hey, do you remember when we came back for Zachariah's funeral?
Stefan Salvatore : Vaguely. Why?
Damon Salvatore : Because if memory serves, he wasn't the first Founders' Council member killed that year, or even that month.
Stefan Salvatore : Your point being?
Damon Salvatore : I'm trying to remember what year it was.
Stefan Salvatore : 1912.
Damon Salvatore : So much for "Vaguely."
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Elena Gilbert : You know, you could show a little compassion about Bonnie.
Damon Salvatore : [sighs] I know. You're right. Her and her mom must be really hurting right now. Should I send lasagna?
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Elena Gilbert : Ok, now you're just being mean.
Damon Salvatore : I'm mean. You hate me. The Earth is back on its axis.
Elena Gilbert : You know, if you keep pushing people away, you're going to end up alone.
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Stefan Salvatore : What do you want?
Damon Salvatore : I was hoping we could hang. You know, a little brother bonding. I mean, I know we don't actually "hang out." We team up, we join forces, we activate our Wonder Twin Powers...
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Damon Salvatore : So, let's just say Sage was killing everyone in 1912.
[aims dart]
Damon Salvatore : Who the hell is doing it now?
[throws]
Damon Salvatore : It's not that psycho, Dr. Fell. She's a woman. There's no way she could stab three grown men.
[throws another dart]
Rebekah Mikaelson : [catches dart before it hits the board] That's a bit sexist. A woman could easily kill a man. With the right motivation.
Stefan Salvatore : You just, uh, don't give up, do you?
Rebekah Mikaelson : [to Stefan] Why are you so grumpy?
Damon Salvatore : He's on a master cleanse. Trying to be a better man and all.
Rebekah Mikaelson : You know, you were a lot more fun in the '20s.
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Rebekah Mikaelson : You know, if I'm being honest, you didn't seem like much fun either.
Damon Salvatore : I wasn't. The woman I was in love with, was stuck in a tomb, and she wasn't getting out for a hundred years. I wasn't having any fun at all.
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Rebekah Mikaelson : So, uh, tell me more about your old relatives. I heard they tore down half the woods to build this town.
Damon Salvatore : Easy there, lushy-pants. It's been a hoot and a half, but it's boys' night, and you weren't invited.