House M.D. (TV Series)
Fall from Grace (2011)
Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Gregory House : Once an addict, always an addict.
[House takes some vicodin]
Martha Masters : Can you please not... do that in front of me?
Dr. Gregory House : Doubt it. You're the main reason I'm on this stuff.
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Dominika : In your head!
Dr. Gregory House : That's "face."
Dominika : On your face!
Dr. Gregory House : Close enough.
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Dr. James Wilson : So you're doing some random stranger a favor? It's illegal. People go to jail for that. Pay huge fees.
Dr. Gregory House : Have you seen me practice medicine? You know how much it costs to have a live-in maid, personal assistant, cook, massage therapist, whore. I do. She's willing to work 4 days a week for free. It's gonna save me about $30,000. All I have to do is say two word: "I do."
Dr. James Wilson : And if she doesn't see it this way?
Dr. Gregory House : Iron clad pre-nup. We go our separate ways. Your stunned look, I take it, it's your way of saying "Brilliant idea House."
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Dr. Gregory House : She's dying of guilt. Feels horrible for dumping me. It's great. I mean not the dumping part, but now the part where she'll let me do whatever I want.
Dr. James Wilson : So you're just trying to punish her? She feels bad enough, and now your only goal is to take advantage.
Dr. Gregory House : That's not true. I got plenty of goals. One of them is a 60 inch flatscreen right there.
Dr. James Wilson : You're a lot of things, House. But you've never been a sadist. You're pummeling an opponent who won't fight back.
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Dr. Eric Foreman : [House is driving the team in a monster truck] Would you slow down? You're gonna get us arrested!
Dr. Chris Taub : I wouldn't worry about it. We'll probably die first!
Dr. Gregory House : Don't make me take my shoe off!
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Dr. Chris Taub : It's a fake marriage but a *real* honeymoon?
Dr. Gregory House : Most are.
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Dr. Gregory House : Adult refsum disease... Fits all symptoms. Body can't process the phtanic acid and chorophyll. It's his healthy diet of green vegetables that's killing him.
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Dr. Gregory House : [after they've been married] I can't.
Dominika : Why not?
Dr. Gregory House : I never sleep with married women. You can take the couch.
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Danny Jennings : Who are you? What are you doing?
Dr. Gregory House : Test.
Danny Jennings : Who are you?
Dr. Gregory House : The important question is, "Who are you?" Danny Jennings is dead, which means that Danny Jennings has no pulse, which you, on the other hand, do. Ergo, you are not Danny Jennings. Or I did the test wrong. So, why don't you cut the crap and tell me your real name?
Danny Jennings : No.
Dr. Gregory House : Hiding your identity. Either you're a criminal or a superhero.
Danny Jennings : I'm not a criminal.
Dr. Gregory House : Awesome. What color is my underwear?
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Dr. Robert Chase : They say true love doesn't exist anymore. Maybe it never did. So, without further ado... Do you, Dominika Patrova, take this man to be your lawfully-wedded husband?
Dominika : I do.
Dr. Robert Chase : And do you, Gregory House, take this woman to be your lawfully-wedded wife?
Dr. Gregory House : Yep.
Dr. Robert Chase : Then by the power vested in me by the state of New Jersey just for today, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.
[people clap]
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Dr. Gregory House : But this guy has been sleeping on a bed of dog poop. I wouldn't be surprised if he got six different symptoms for six different reasons.
Martha Masters : The bleed could be caused by a GI obstruction.
Dr. Gregory House : Vitamin OD makes sense and it's easier to treat. Give him tocopherol and zinc supplements for the excess vitamin A. If we're right, he could go homeless tomorrow.
Martha Masters : And if we're wrong, his intestines could get further distressed while we ignore the GI obstruction.
Dr. Gregory House : See what happens when women don't have to serve men to stay in the country? They get uppity. This is why we invented green cards.
