Sexual Witchcraft (2011 TV Movie)
Holly Sampson: Carrie
Photos
Quotes
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[Sheri Williams comes into the living room and is shocked to see Carrie and Cleopatra kissing each other on the couch]
Sheri : Carrie!
[Carrie and Cleopatra stop kissing, turn around and are surprised to see Sheri]
Sheri : What the hell is going on here?
Carrie : [putting her clothes back on] Uh... I, um, well, uh... this is your wedding present!
Sheri : What? Who is that girl?
Cleopatra : I am Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt.
Sheri : Right. What is going on here?
Carrie : Well, um, it's like this: Uh, I overheard you and David talking on the phone about the cosmetic line and you needing a new idea!
Sheri : Keep talking.
Carrie : Well, who has better beauty secrets than Cleopatra! So I brought her here from ancient Egypt so that she could tell me, and I could tell you as a wedding present. But she wanted a tribute before she would tell me, so I was just pouting up. That's all.
Sheri : That's an incredible story.
Carrie : I know it's an incredible story, but it's true!
Sheri : Okay. What is Cleopatra's big beauty secret?
Carrie : Well, I don't know. Cleo?
Cleopatra : June bugs.
Sheri : June bugs?
Cleopatra : June bugs. You take the tiny little wings and crush them into a fine powder and mix them into your base makeup. It gives the skin a brilliant glow.
Sheri : I'm supposed to tell David that he needs to grind up the wings of June bugs and place them in Maribelle's beauty products?
Cleopatra : Works for me.
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Sheri : [wakes up after a peaceful sleep and yawns] Wow. Must've been the champagne.
Carrie : [magically appears in front of Sheri] Hungover?
Sheri : [turns her head and sees Carrie] What are you doing here?
Carrie : Well, I thought I would drop in to... check out your new digs.
Sheri : People usually wait for an invitation first.
Carrie : Why would I do that? We're practically family. Why pick knits?
Sheri : What do you really want?
Carrie : Me? Nothing! But your absolute happiness. After all, that's why I am your best friend.
Sheri : You were never really a great friend. You didn't even give me a wedding gift!
Carrie : Well, not yet. I feel bad about that, but I'm working on it. By the way, does your husband know you're a witch yet? Was that not in the vows: "I will take this witch to be my lawfully wedded hag"?
Sheri : No, he does not know yet. Didn't seem too important to mention it at the time.
Carrie : Well, I'm sure he'll be surprised when he finds out.
Sheri : And how would he find out?
Carrie : I... I don't know, but I'm sure it'll slip out sooner or later.
Sheri : I'm sure with you, it'll be sooner.
Carrie : Perish the thought.
Sheri : Well, if you don't mind, I've got things to do.
Carrie : I can take a hint. Catch ya later, BFF.
[magically disappears into thin air]
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Carrie : Beauty secrets... hmm. What women have wanted to know for ages... and hasn't been discovered.
[sees a head statue of Cleopatra on top of a fireplace mantel]
Carrie : That's it! Cleopatra, the most beautiful woman in history.
[picks up the head statue and looks at it]
Carrie : I guess if I found out, that would be a very fitting gift for Sheri and David.
[Abigail Turnbull watches from outside the window while Carrie recites a magical spell and waves her hand around the Cleopatra head statue]
Carrie : Cleopatra, Cleopatra, queen of the Nile, drop in and see me and stay for a while.
[Cleopatra magically appears in front of Carrie. Abigail Turnbull is shocked at what she sees and faints on the sidewalk]
Carrie : Oh! Wow, I'm good!
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[Abigail Turnbull rings the doorbell and Carrie opens the door]
Carrie : Can I help you?
Mrs. Turnbull : You're not Mrs. Williams!
Carrie : Wow, you're quick. Uh, now what I can do for you, Mrs...?
Mrs. Turnbull : Turnbull. Who are you?
Carrie : Well, I'm Carrie, Sheri's girlfriend.
Mrs. Turnbull : I never saw you come in the house today!
Carrie : Well, I didn't know anyone was watching!
Mrs. Turnbull : Well, I...
Carrie : Okay, listen... listen, it's okay. I understand.
Mrs. Turnbull : Is Mrs. Williams here?
Carrie : Well, she is, but she's in the shower. Okay? I'll tell her you stopped by.
Mrs. Turnbull : All right. I'll come back later.
Carrie : Thank you.
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Cleopatra : What... is this? Where am I?
Carrie : Well, it's the 21st century, baby! Like it?
Cleopatra : Everything seems so strange... so different.
Carrie : Well, I know, but if you help a girl out, I'll shoot you right back to whatever sand dune you came from.
Cleopatra : I am Queen Cleopatra! No one speaks to me in this manner!
Carrie : Oh! I'm sorry, Queen. No disrespect intended. I just haven't rubbed elbows with royalty before.
Cleopatra : I see. And what is it you wish of me?
Carrie : Well, I'd really like to know what your beauty secrets are. Clearly, you're doing something that works, and girls this day and age would love to know what it is.
Cleopatra : My beauty secrets... Now, why should I tell you my beauty secrets?
Carrie : Uh... 'cause you're a nice person?
[laughs]
Carrie : Listen, what can it hurt? I mean, you've been dead for thousands of years.
Cleopatra : I can never grant a wish without being paid tribute. What is it you offer?
Carrie : Uh... I, I don't know. I mean, what would make you happy?
Cleopatra : You are quite beautiful yourself. Your tribute would be... to please me.
Carrie : Please you?
[laughs]
Carrie : You mean, like... please you?
Cleopatra : You may begin now.
Carrie : Well... the price is certainly right.
[laughs, walks up to Cleopatra and kisses her on the lips, then they go to the couch, sit right down and begin seducing each other]