Nostalgia Critic (TV Series)

The Next Top 11 Nostalgia Critic Fuckups (2010)

Doug Walker: Nostalgia Critic, Douchey McNitpick, Linkara, Elephant in the Room

Quotes 

• Douchey McNitpick : Dolphins CAN punch, you anti-dolphite!

• Douchey McNitpick : That was Jim Cummings singing the whole time, you brainless fart!

• Nostalgia Critic : And the number 1 "Next Nostalgia Critic Fuck Up" is... Nothing. I have no number 1. Haha, I guess I didn't make as many mistakes as I thought. Well, thank you for joining me an...

  Elephant In The Room : Ahem.

  [Nostalgia Critic turns and see's the Elephant In The Room, who just stares blankly at him] 

  Nostalgia Critic : Did you hear something? I-I-I totally didn't hear anything.

  Elephant In The Room : Don't try to avoid me.

  Nostalgia Critic : I'm not avoiding you, thing that I don't hear.

  Elephant In The Room : You're missing the Autism joke.

  [Nostalgia Critic puts his fingers in his ears and yells "lalalala" over and over in an attempt to block out the Elephant] 

  Elephant In The Room : You know damn well that you made a joke about Autism and you tried your hardest never to mention it again.

  Nostalgia Critic : Okay, you're right! In my "Ernest Saves Christmas" review I made probably the most inappropriate joke ever. It was when one of the characters is doing an unfunny puppet show for kids that are way too old to be enjoying it.

  Nostalgia Critic From Earlier : Yes, I think he entertains the autistic children.

  Nostalgia Critic : Not only was this inappropriate, it just didn't make sense. There's just as many high-functioning Autistic people as there are low-functioning Autistic people. In fact there's even more high-functioning. I know Autistic people, and to be honest this was just an unfair, un-thought out joke. I didn't even think it was that funny when I put it in. I just sort-of did on the off chance that maybe someone else would find it funny. It was a gamble, and to this day it remains to be the only joke I ever removed because I simply thought it was low and unfair. No disrespect people, it's just a really stupid mistake that I hope never to make again.

• Nostalgia Critic : Goddammit, Douchey, I thought I shoved a grenade up your ass.

  Douchey McNitpick : That's no match for the power of trolldom... but it was a pretty good attempt!

• Douchey McNitpick : So where's your Old vs. New of War of the Worlds?

  Nostalgia Critic : Indeed, alot of people have been wondering what happened since I said in my list that I was going to do an Old vs. New of War of the Worlds. Alot of people think The Tommy Wiseau Show distracted from it, but actually, there's another reason. I did watch both movies again and, to be 100% honest, neither one of them held up very well to me. I mean, neither one was terrible or anything, but they were both surprisingly underwhelming.

• Nostalgia Critic : But needless to say, it was Linkara's fault! That's right. Don't believe me? Take a look at this video apology he made earlier this week.

  Linkara : [being impersonated by Critic]  Hello, I'm Linkara, and I totally fucked up. Sorry. I feel like an ass.

  Nostalgia Critic : Oh, Linkara, you don't have to be so hard on yourself.

  Linkara : No, really, it was totally my fault. I should have known not to upset someone as powerful and handsome as you.

  Nostalgia Critic : Oh, Linkara, are you saying that I'm so physically attractive that I'm turning you gay right now?

  Linkara : Yes. Yes, I am.

  Nostalgia Critic : I... don't know what to say. I'm just speechless.

  Linkara : Bat credit card.

  Nostalgia Critic : A BAT CREDIT CARD?

  [fires his gun and flips out] 

• Douchey McNitpick : I write comments on the internet, that means I'M right!

• Nostalgia Critic : Why did the chicken switch from good to evil, and if you say 'to get to the other side', I'll fucking kill you.