Killing Bono (2011)
Ben Barnes: Neil McCormick
Photos
Quotes
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Ivan McCormick : So, fill me in, brother, how much are we into Danny Machin for?
Neil McCormick : All in all? Thirteen grand. Give or take.
Ivan McCormick : Thirteen grand? What is that? Five grand a kneecap and three for our heads?
Neil McCormick : ...That doesn't add up, Ivan.
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Neil McCormick : Hello? Hi, where is Hammond?
Rick : Are you the new runners?
Neil McCormick : No, no no, of course we are not the new runners. We're the McCormicks! We're Hammond's new act, we're just here to sign the old contracts.
Rick : Hammond is history. Axed. Kept spunking cash into Kajagoogoo. I'm the new Hammond.
Neil McCormick : No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What was the last thing he said before he left?
Rick : Let me think uh... "I'm gonna sue you bastards right through the arsehole". Then he sort of... broke down. It was all very uncool.
Ivan McCormick : Yeah but he did tell you about our deal?
Neil McCormick : And the fifty grand advance?
Rick : Oh yeah... it's ringing bells. Ding-a-ling-ling! But I would say a hundred's more realistic.
Ivan McCormick : [surprised] A hundred grand?
Rick : Yeah! I'll tell you what: You boys will look fucking fantastic on camera! We'll do you a video to rival Duran Duran.
Neil McCormick : Ok, yeah!
Rick : And we'll shoot it ON THE MOON!
Ivan McCormick : What? Really?
Rick : NO! Not really! In fact, I'll tell you why you boys will never be signed to this label. You look like a pair of mental fortune tellers from a gypsy fair. And Hammond liked you, therefore, I hate you! I wouldn't sign you to this label if you paid me a hundred grand and let me John Paul Pope your mother.
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Gloria : You must love him
[Ivan]
Gloria : a lot.
Neil McCormick : Yeah. But it's also the guilt. You know how good the Irish are at that.
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Neil McCormick : We'll get you VIP passes when we play Wembley. Access all areas.
Karl : Ah! I'll make you sorry you ever said that.
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Neil McCormick : I didn't mean to hurt you.
Gloria : Yeah, well I meant to hurt you.
Gloria : Yeah, well you did. It was actually a really good punch.
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Neil McCormick : *He* has got everything he ever wanted.
Ivan McCormick : No, he's got everything that *you* ever wanted.
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Gloria : Music people are very different.
Neil McCormick : Just start with the idea they're all arses and every so often you will be pleasantly surprised.