Arthur Christmas (2011)

Laura Linney: North Pole Computer

Quotes 

• Bryony : [Gwen has just received her present, Arthur is now Santa, and Bryony speaks over the public address system in Mission Control at the North Pole using a HOHO, which is visible on the big screen]  Drop complete.

  [the L.E.D. display above the mainframe in Mission Control switches to green and shows 0000000000] 

  Bryony : And we have a new Santa!

  [Arthur peeps out the window] 

  North Pole Computer : [All of the elves in Mission Control begin cheering]  Christmas accomplished.

  Mrs. Santa : [Back up on the S-1 learning that Arthur is now Santa, having successfully delivered Gwen's present]  Oh, Arthur.

  [Pulls levers in the S-1] 

  North Pole Computer : [the elves continue cheering over Arthur, "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays over the music system in Mission Control]  Commence decking halls.

  Peter : You know, I've always liked Arthur. Do you think he likes espresso?

• Steve : [Steve gets back onto the S-1 after having a fight with Spanish Pedro in Trelew, Mexico over the bicycle]  Okay, so I'm not great with children. Does that make me a bad Santa?

  Steve : [Faces Santa and keys in 23 Mimosa Avenue, Trelew into the S-1's GPS to see it it would come up with a list]  You're hardly perfect. Let me guess. You put in the address, you saw a list of Trelews, and just clicked on the first one? You're just like Arthur.

  Santa : [Looks at Steve]  Am I?

  S-1 Computer : [the phone on the S-1's Bridge rings]  North Pole incoming.

  Elf : [Steve, Santa, and Mrs. Santa look at the S-1's videophone and see Arthur cycling across Trelew, England riding to Gwen's on her Twinkle Bike]  Sir, the soldiers have shot the sleigh. But, sir. It's Arthur. He's still going.

  Santa : Arthur?

• North Pole Computer : [Before the closing credits roll]  And may one hundred percent of your Christmases be white!

• Santa : [Trying to operate the S-1 himself, denting it and jolting it violently, while flashing red lights flash all over the S-1's bridge]  I, um... 23 Mimosa Avenue, Trelew.

  Mrs. Santa : [Reading the manual]  Reading up. There's no harm in using a manual. Men.

  Santa : [Agitated, pressing buttons, levers, and knobs all over the bridge causing the S-1 to rock and sway violently]  Margaret, I order you to disembark. It's not safe. Unh!

  Mrs. Santa : [Trying to calm Santa]  Piffle. I did a microlight flying course on the internet. It can't be that different.

  Santa : [Steve appears at the doors to the bridge]  Oh! Steve.

  Steve : [Santa accidentally leans on a lever and the S-1 jolts more violently]  You've dented it! You take it out without asking?

  Mrs. Santa : [Stabilizes the S-1]  Malcolm, you told me he knew. You know how Steve feels about his S-1.

  Santa : [Presses more buttons and levers causing it to rock and sway even more violently]  It's MY S-1. S for "Santa". I'm flying to this child.

  Steve : Of course she's all that matters. Not me, your son. Not the two billion things I did right tonight. No!

  Santa : This is about the pool table, isn't it? I told you, you should've written to me.

  Steve : [shouting]  I was eight. You're my dad!

  Mrs. Santa : [shouting]  For goodness sake!

  Mrs. Santa : [Slams her cup down on the controls]  Arthur and Grandsanta are out there probably not wearing nearly enough layers and you two are bickering over a big red toy?

  Santa : I'm... I'm not bickering. If Steven could just stand back.

  [Activates the airbag] 

  Santa : Ooh!

  S-1 Computer : [Airbag inflates]  Air bag.

  Santa : You drive, Steven.

  Steve : Thank you.

  [Puts on his gloves and fires up the S-1] 

  Steve : So since gift delivery to child 47785BXK is all that seems to matter, I'll do it myself. Then we'll pick up Arthur and Grandsanta from whatever ditch they've ended up in.

  S-1 Computer : [Steve pulls the main lever on the S-1 to go at full throttle]  Maximum thrust.