- Jack falls in love with his mother's nurse, Liz begins dating a little person to avoid being caught in an embarrassing situation, and Jenna tries to get the lead role in a Janis Joplin movie.
- "30 Rock" "Senor Macho Solo" - Jan. 7, 2009
Well it's the second quarter and so far Florida and Oklahoma are locked in a epic battle for the 2009 BCS National Championsh-. . . oh, right, NBC. Not football.
The show opens with Jenna telling Liz about a new movie on the life of Janice Joplin that Jack is helping produce. It's clear that Liz and her purse full of baby shoes -- "it isn't stealing if it fell on the ground" -- is going baby-crazy.
Jack has hired a woman named Elisa (Salma Hayek) to be his mother's new nurse.
Jack, Grizz and Dot Com sit down with Tracy -- who is wearing gold shoes and a shirt literally made of cash -- to tell him they are worried about his spending. Tracy tells Jack that he and Angie did not sign a prenuptial agreement. Jack suggests they bring Angie in and talk to her about a "post-nup."
Liz walks out the front door and is quickly picked up by an uber-charming man with dwarfism named Stuart (Peter Dinklage), who she had patted on the head thinking he was a child.
Wearing full Janie Joplin garb Jenna tries to pitch Jack on getting the lead in the film. Jack tells her he loves the idea and that he will tell the studio.
Liz's date with Stuart, who works at the United Nations, clearly went well. Liz tells Jenna she's worried about messing up a good thing, particularly given Stuart's stature and her obsession with children.
Sitting with Tracy (who is wearing a hat made of cash), Angie agrees to sign a terrible contract, saying it doesn't matter since she plans to be with him "until the very end." That sentiment is enough for Tracy, who prevents her from following through as the two begin to undress and have sex on Jack's desk.
Jack tells Liz that he wants Jenna to be in the film and that he wants her to perform a skit as Joplin for the opening skit of the next show.
Stuart has stopped by the office, engaging in a witty back-and-forth with Jack after Liz makes a troll-related faux pas. Still smitten, Tracy and Angie walk up and proceed to have sex on Kenneth's desk.
Jenna sees on TV that Julie Roberts will be playing Janice Joplin for a competing project.
Jack returns home and finds out Elisa and his mother are working well together. On his way to a date, Jack explains to her how silly he views depending on someone for the rest of one's life.
After making several more child-related mistakes, Liz admits to Stuart that she initially though he was a child. He quickly dumps her and takes off.
Out his date, Jack freezes while at the urinal in the restaurant bathroom. "I've got something on my ball," he tells the clueless restroom attendant.
The following morning Jack explains to Elisa that he found a "lump." Elisa immediately grabs a rubber glove and examines Jack through his zipper, telling him to get checked out and not be a "senor macho solo." Jack tells her he will handle the problem himself.
At the office Jack admits to Jenna that their project has not yet secured the rights to either Joplin's life story or music.
Liz calls Stuart at his office, explaining her baby issues and asking for another chance. Using a "Sex In The City" movie anecdote she secures a meeting with him near his home.
An up-beat Jack shows up at Elisa's family gathering, telling her he had a biopsy and is awaiting the results. She invites him to stay and introduces him to her family.
Liz tells Jack about her predicament with Stuart. He tells her the growth has changed his life outlook and that he is in love with Elisa. Tracy grabs the phone when Jack's doctor calls, telling a nervous Jack that the biopsy was "positive." In Tracy-speak that means it was positive news and Jack is fine.
As the show begins, Liz tells Jack that she plans to meet Stuart, that Jack has inspired her. Jack is now questioning whether his health scare was the real reason for his feelings towards Elisa.
Jenna is forced to open the show as "Janice Jopler." She sings a song Jack wrote a few minutes earlier: "Take it, take another little chunk of my love now mister. You know you've bought it, if life makes you sweet food."
Liz ends up showing up for the meeting with Stuart, but he promptly leaves after watching her mistake a small child for him. Again.
Jack arrives home and begins making out with Elisa as the show ends.
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