- Cerie: Liz is a really really mature person. And she totally deserves to get custody of her kids.
- Bev: It's not a custody case. Liz is trying to adopt a child.
- Cerie: Then who were those kids that you were yelling at the other day?
- Liz Lemon: Those were some child actors who had lied about being able to breakdance.
- Jack Donaghy: Is this the way my life was supposed to play out? The kid who walked 4 miles every Saturday to caddy because mother said that golf was a game for businessmen? Paid his way through Princeton by working the day shift at that graveyard and the graveyard shift at that Days Inn?
- Jenna Maroney: [Speaking to a group of friends] I got a residual check for that Japanese commercial I did! Three hundred dollars! I'm going to use the money to buy us all new boots for myself.
- Tracy Jordan: Let's go shopping. To the Batmobile!
- Grizz: [to Liz] Don't worry, he's just leasing it.
- Jack Donaghy: This is G.E.!
- Devon Banks: It's just G now, Jack. I sold the E. to Samsung. They're Samesung now.
- Kenneth Parcell: I think adoption is a wonderful thing. Three of my nine siblings were adopted. And someday, I'm gonna find them.
- Jack Donaghy: We might not the best people...
- Liz Lemon: ...but we're not the worst.
- Jack Donaghy, Liz Lemon: Graduate students are the worst!
- Jack Donaghy: What I'm saying is: don't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want to have. So now, Manny?
- Manny: Tomorrow I show up for work, dressed as a Mexican wrestler.
- Liz Lemon: I got rid of all my Colin Firth movies in case they consider them erotica.
- Jack Donaghy: That man can wear a sweater.