- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [looking at the breakfast take out that McGee brought back] I said scrambled. You haven't gotten a single order right in 4 days.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: They're eggs. Eat 'em.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Well, I don't like sunny side up. Sunny side up oozes. They look like eyes. They're looking at ya. I bet your burrito is just the way you like it.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: You want your eggs scrambled?
- [takes container and shakes it]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: They're scrambled.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [talking over earwigs] I'm a sworn federal agent, Tony. I can't just stand by and watch a felony go down.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: That's a good idea, blow our stake out over a $50 crack deal. If Gibbs doesn't slap you silly, I will.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Oh, you're gonna slap me?
- Goldilocks: If that's what you want, honey.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Go for it, McFreaky. Goldilocks is just your type.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Bite me.
- Goldilocks: That'll be extra.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [realizing he has ink around his eyes from the binoculars] You're a dead man, McGee.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Don't look at me, Raccoon Boy. It was Ziva.
- Det. Andrea Sparr: You're here because I didn't return your call.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Well that would have been nice, yeah.
- Det. Andrea Sparr: Well, when I'm in the middle of an investigation, I don't return social calls.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What makes you think it was a social call?
- Det. Andrea Sparr: The way you stared at my ass the other day.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: How do you know my interest in your ass wasn't purely professional?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: I thought you guys shook on it. No more practical jokes.
- Officer Ziva David: Do you trust DiNozzo?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Point well taken.
- [as Gibbs pushes a Lego man around his desk]
- NCIS Intel Analyst Nikki Jardine: Mind if I ask what that is?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: According to McGee, he's the guy who stole the radar.
- Officer Ziva David: [after realizing that the radar has been stolen] I would not want to be Gibbs right now.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I would not want to be McGee anytime.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: [Abby is spinning in circles on a stool] Abby. Abigail! What are you doing?
- Abby Sciuto: I'm trying to change my spacial orientation. Help myself get a new perspective.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: How's it working?
- Abby Sciuto: I think I'm gonna be sick.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: The camera's working fine, Boss. I don't know why... I would start a sentence like that.
- Captain Dean Pullman: Sorry, Gibbs. Sec Nav wouldn't let me go. Wanted to know whose bright idea it was to use top secret radar as bait.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: That would be Gibbs, 2 B's.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Where's DiNozzo?
- Officer Ziva David: Uh... He's, uh, got to run an errand?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Never cover for me.
- [Jardine comes down the stairs wearing a surgical mask]
- Det. Andrea Sparr: Um...
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah, don't ask.
- NCIS Intel Analyst Nikki Jardine: [off Gibbs's look] Four people in my department have come down with the flu.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [pulls her mask off] Well, you're in my department now.
- NCIS Intel Analyst Nikki Jardine: Yes, sir.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What do you got?
- NCIS Intel Analyst Nikki Jardine: Just a tickle at the back of my throat...
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No, what do you *got*?
- NCIS Intel Analyst Nikki Jardine: Um, Ziva? I don't know if I should say anything or not, but I saw Tony putting something under your car...
- Officer Ziva David: *What*? When?
- NCIS Intel Analyst Nikki Jardine: What, I don't know. When, this morning.
- Officer Ziva David: Ha! I told you! I told you he could not be trusted!
- [Ziva runs out]
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Was Tony really messing with her car?
- NCIS Intel Analyst Nikki Jardine: No, Tony just told me to tell Ziva that when I saw her.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I have a gut feeling about this.
- Det. Andrea Sparr: Why?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Why do I have a gut feeling?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [explaining his model] It's for Gibbs. You know how hard it is to explain technological stuff to him.
- Abby Sciuto: Good point. It's like whenever I try to explain something sciency and his eye glaze over and he gets that "will you shut up and get to the point" look. He's behind me isn't he?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: No.
- [Abby spins around to confirm it]
- Goldilocks: [after calling in a tip] There's a reward, right?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Yes.
- [pointing to McGee]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You get him.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You got it?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: At great personal expense, I'm afraid. I agreed to be Tom Hubbard's Bridge partner at a tournament next month. A weekend in hell.
- Det. Andrea Sparr: So our cases have crossed. Means you can tell me why NCIS was staking out the neighborhood.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Classified Navy equipment was hijacked. Got an anonymous tip it was in a storage building next to the alley where Rowe was killed.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Just learned Rowe was the tipster.
- Det. Andrea Sparr: Still conducting the stakeout?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No. No, the equipment was stolen. Again.
- Det. Andrea Sparr: Messy.
- Officer Ziva David: [holding out her hand to Sparr] Ziva David.
- [Sparr glances at Ziva, then turns back to Gibbs]
- Det. Andrea Sparr: You dragged me up here to pull the national security, need-to-know card? That Rowe's murder is no longer a Metro case?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No, we investigate the murder together. The theft stays classified.
- Det. Andrea Sparr: Do I have a choice?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: No.
- Abby Sciuto: [of McGee's demonstration] This is so great. Even Gibbs could understand this.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [behind them, from the open elevator] Oh, he does.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Abby.
- [in her lab, Abby is stacking specimen jars with her music blaring]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: ABBY!
- [Abby starts, and knocks over all the jars]
- Abby Sciuto: Gibbs!
- [Abby lowers her music volume]
- Abby Sciuto: Hey, Gibbs. I was just, um... stacking specimen jars.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Haven't heard from you.
- Abby Sciuto: I know, I miss you, too. It's so quiet around here. I had to go get my own Caf-POW. Did you know they raised their price twenty-five cents?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Did you come up with anything?
- Abby Sciuto: I guess that depends on what you mean by "anything."
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Anything!
- [Tony starts reading Scott Rowe's autopsy report]
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: You want the highlights?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Yes, please.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Cause of death, blunt force trauma. He was not a healthy man. Mr. Rowe had quadruple bypass surgery before his fortieth birthday.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Was he an addict?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Oh, most definitely. He appears to have been addicted to fatty red meats, fried foods, and eggs. His cholesterol was 388.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Drugs?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: No, not even an aspirin, which he should have been taking on a daily regimen for his condition.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Thanks, Ducky, I owe you.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: And one day, dear boy, I shall collect.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What's happened?
- Officer Ziva David: Goldilocks and Papa Bear found a bed that is "just right." Personally I think she could do better.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Huh?
- Officer Ziva David: The jack she is with is gross.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You mean "john."
- Officer Ziva David: You know him?
- NCIS Intel Analyst Nikki Jardine: I've worked all the usual channels - nothing.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: And you thought it was important to come up here and tell me that?
- NCIS Intel Analyst Nikki Jardine: Well, that's the point. If top-secret electronics were out there for sale, or in the hands of a foreign operative, we would have picked up something by now. I think the silence speaks volumes.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: What's it saying?