- Dr. Gregory House: [about Cameron dying her hair blonde] The hair makes you look like a hooker. I like it.
- Dr. Gregory House: Rational arguments don't usually work on religious people. Otherwise there would be no religious people.
- Dr. Gregory House: New patient. 30-year-old female with synesthesia. New rules. You generate a lab report, you shred it. X-ray, you melt it. No notes, no records, nothing. As far as you're concerned, the patient is Osama Bin Laden. And everyone not in this room is Delta Force. Any questions?
- Dr. O'Reilly, a.k.a. #11: We're protecting Osama Bin Laden?
- Dr. Gregory House: It's a metaphor. Get used to it.
- Dr. James Wilson: [House is seeing Cameron at PPTH] No, but since she's not a dead cat, it is scientifically impossible for her to be in two places at once.
- Dr. Gregory House: Physics joke. Don't hear enough of those.
- Captain Greta Cooper: I'm a captain in the Air Force about to start a new assignment. NASA's astronaut training program.
- Dr. Gregory House: I discovered salt and created FM radio.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You bumped a spleenectomy for a boob job?
- Dr. Gregory House: Would you condemn this woman to a life where people look at her face when they talk to her?
- [two cute twins argue a diagnosis]
- Dr. Gregory House: Stop it! This argument is distracting every male and lesbian here.
- Dr. Gregory House: I don't know who's been gossiping about ethics instead of sex, but I hope they've already been fired.
- Captain Greta Cooper: This will make me a joke. There's got to be another way.
- Dr. Chris Taub: I've know a few people who had dreams, one thing they all had in common was they got laughed at and they didn't care.