- Messenger: [Leonidas has kissed the Persian's messenger on the mouth] What the hell was that?
- Leonidas: What?
- Messenger: You just kissed me!
- Leonidas: That is how men of Sparta greet one another: high-fives for the women
- [high-fives Margo]
- Leonidas: and open-mouthed tongue kisses for the men!
- Messenger: [Messenger looks around and sees some gay couples] Oh... I get it.
- Leonidas: What?
- Messenger: You have a... "free" society.
- Leonidas: Yes! The freest!
- Messenger: Not that there's anything wrong with it!
- Leonidas: I'm assembling an army of 300 to go to war with Persia. I'm going to take them in the rear... and then I'm gonna reach around, and I'm gonna take them again from the front!
- Xerxes: I tell you kid, you got balls. I come over here with a big army, we're goin' to shish kebab your ass.
- Leonidas: Yes, well, that may be the case, but your mama's so hairy, the only language she speaks is Wookie!
- Councilman: The Oracle said that if we went to war with Persia, we'd be screwed!
- Leonidas: The Oracle also said our painted on abs look fake, but I beg to differ.
- Captain: [as Leonidas is beating up his son] I remember when my father used to beat me.
- Queen Margo: Rites of Passage?
- Captain: No, my father was an alcoholic.
- Xerxes: [Xerxes finds the Allspark, gets into his car and it starts transforming. Soon he is a huge robot with a Flatscreen across his chest and red glowing eyes] I am Xerxes-tron! I am enhanced with strange Alien Technology!
- [He turns the Flatscreen on and the Youtube logo appears]
- Chris Crocker: Leave Britney alone! Leave her alone!
- Leonidas: He truly is a God-King...
- Chris Crocker: She's human!
- Leonidas: As long as Xerxes doesn't find the secret path to the Hot Gates... their vast numbers won't count for shit!
- Queen Margo: Come back with your shield or on it.
- Leonidas: And if I come back on it, I want you to move on.
- Queen Margo: I would never!
- Leonidas: Well, hell, if you died, I'd play the field! To be honest, I always wanted to do a fat chick.
- Councilman: [Picking up Traitoro's phone] Tickle my nipples with a feather! Xerxes is in Traitoro's Top 5!
- [the councilmen grumble among one another]
- Councilman: Traitoro was a... traitor?