- Evergreen Villager: The homeless first started arriving in Evergreen about 3 months ago. At first they were only a few of them, asking for change, sleeping in the parks. But then more showed up. And we realized there was something different about them. They fed off of our change to the point that they could actually start renting apartments. We knew it wouldn't be long before the homeless actually started buying homes. And then we'd had no idea who is homeless and who wasn't. People living in the house right next door to you could be homeless and you wouldn't even know. Nobody could trust anybody. Fights broke out, war! That's when I starting suspecting my own wife, who I'd be living with for 20 years, was actually homeless. So I had to burn her, in her bed, while she slept. After she died, I vowed I wouldn't let the homeless destroy our town. So we came up with a plan to get rid of them once and for all.
- Kyle Broflovski: You son of a bitch! You didn't solve your homeless problem, you just sent all your homeless to South Park!
- Evergreen Villager: That's right, yes.
- Jimbo Kern: What happened, Glenn?
- Glenn: There's no help coming! Because of all the homeless... because of all the homeless in South Park, property values have plummeted. I had two liens against my house and now the bank is foreclosing. I don't have a home anymore!
- Linda Stotch: [Randy cocks shotgun and aims at Glenn] Randy, what are you doing?
- Randy Marsh: He's homeless now. We aren't safe!
- Glenn: I'm not like them!
- Randy Marsh: Not yet. It's only a matter of time.
- Linda Stotch: And what are you gonna do, huh? Just blow his head off?
- Randy Marsh: If we have to! Sit down, Glenn!
- Glenn: Randy, you can't just...
- Randy Marsh: SIT... DOOOWWWNNN!
- Randy Marsh: [digs through a box of poptarts] No, no damnit!
- [tosses the box off the roof]
- Randy Marsh: That's it, that's it everyone we're out of poptarts!
- Jimbo Kern: No we can't be!
- Randy Marsh: Face it we're going to starve!
- Linda Stotch: No, no wait there's still a box over here
- [shows him the box]
- Randy Marsh: Those are cherry, ick!