Ghost Town (I) (2008)
Audrie Neenan: Admitting Nurse
Quotes
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Admitting Nurse : Date of birth?
Bertram Pincus : Why?
Admitting Nurse : What day were you born?
Bertram Pincus : No, I understood the question. Why do you need to know that?
Admitting Nurse : Let's leave it blank. Weight?
Bertram Pincus : Last night or this morning?
Admitting Nurse : You pick.
Bertram Pincus : Hundred eighty-two pounds.
Admitting Nurse : Number of alcoholic beverages consumed per week?
Bertram Pincus : Why do you need to know that?
Admitting Nurse : Well, they want to know.
Bertram Pincus : Well, I'm sure "they" want to know a lot of things, but I don't want my intimate details auctioned off to the highest bidder, willy-nilly.
Admitting Nurse : I'll put zero. Marital status?
Bertram Pincus : Pass.
Admitting Nurse : Profession?
Bertram Pincus : Irrelevant.
Admitting Nurse : Food allergies?
Bertram Pincus : I'm not going to be eating here.
Admitting Nurse : Are you allergic to sticking plaster?
Bertram Pincus : What a ludicrous question. I'm not answering any more of these, really.
Admitting Nurse : Do you smoke?
Bertram Pincus : Stop it.
Admitting Nurse : Do you wear dentures?
Bertram Pincus : Madame, listen.
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Admitting Nurse : When was the last time you ate?
Bertram Pincus : A pertinent question at last. Yesterday, lunchtime. Thanks for asking. I had a tuna sandwich. Toast was soggy, but...
Admitting Nurse : Did you drink the laxative solution?
Bertram Pincus : Yes.
Admitting Nurse : Did it work?
Bertram Pincus : It was as advertised.
Admitting Nurse : Did you evacuate your bowls?
Bertram Pincus : I drank copious amounts of drain-cleaning fluid. What followed was fait accompli.
Admitting Nurse : Sir, what I'm asking is if you were...
Bertram Pincus : I shat. Okay? Good. Again and again. It was like a terrorist attack down there in the darkness and the chaos,the running and the screaming, okay?
Admitting Nurse : Fine with me.
Bertram Pincus : Good.
Bertram Pincus : Gross invasion of my privacy, this.
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Bertram Pincus : [unwillingly giving hospital nurse personal information] Invasion of my privacy, that's what it is.
Admitting Nurse : Wait'll they get you in the back.
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Admitting Nurse : Did you evacuate your bowels?
Bertram Pincus : I drank copious amounts of drain-cleaning fluid. What followed was fait accompli.
Admitting Nurse : Sir, what I'm asking is if you were...
Bertram Pincus : I shat! Okay? Good. Again and again! It was like a terrorist attack down there in the darkness and the chaos, the running and the screaming, okay?