- [first lines]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: This is so "Usual Suspects".
- Officer Ziva David: Tony, your dying words will be, "I've seen this film".
- Officer Ziva David: Ducky, drip it!
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Do you mean "drop it" or "zip it"?
- Officer Ziva David: Argh, American idioms drive me up the hall!
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Well actually it's... ugh, never mind.
- Dr. Todd Gelfand: How well do you know Gibbs?
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: He was my mentor at NCIS; he taught me most of what I know.
- Dr. Todd Gelfand: Yet you're his boss.
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: [chuckles] Jethro's a great field agent. He's a great team leader. And he deals more efficiently with difficult politicians than I do.
- Dr. Todd Gelfand: Then why isn't he the...
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: [quickly] He shoots them.
- Nurse Ethel Washington: Non-medical people cannot enter trauma one... unless they're carried in.
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: Get me a gurney.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Whatever you came to say better be pretty damn important.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Abby slapped Ziva and Ziva slapper her back.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Damn! I missed it.
- [after Tony refers to "The Usual Suspects."]
- Officer Ziva David: I'm confused.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [from the backseat] So am I, and I saw the DVD twice.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: "The Sound of Music" confuses *you*, Probie.
- Officer Ziva David: I love that movie!
- [She starts to sing, DiNozzo claps a hand over her mouth]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: One note, and I will lock you in a room and make you listen to "It's a Small World" for 24 hours straight. Do we understand each other?
- Officer Ziva David: [muffled] Mmm-hmm.
- Capt. Aris Mahir: Now look, I am not a terrorist! No Wahabi! I fight no Jihad!
- Officer Ziva David: You profit from it, you swine! And for that, you should die!
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Coffee.
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: Coffee?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Sure way to wake Gibbs.
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: Good idea, but he's intubated. We'll have to use the I.V.
- Abby Sciuto: What if these were Gibbs' guts smooshed all over that room?
- Officer Ziva David: Oh for God's sake Abby. They're not.
- Abby Sciuto: I said, what if they were?
- Officer Ziva David: The color would be more coffee brown than red.
- NCIS Director Jenny Shepard: I was out of line.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You are the director, Ma'am. You cannot be out of line.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: If there's going to be any bitch slapping on this team, I'll do it. Clear? Good, now shake hands.
- [Abby and Ziva shake hands]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: There we go. That wasn't so tough, was it? How about a little hug? Big buddy hug, come on.
- [Abby and Ziva hug]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: There we go. Come on, now a deep tongue kiss.
- [Abby and Ziva punch Tony]