Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

It Conquered the World (1991)

Joel Hodgson: Joel Robinson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tom Servo : [eating]  Mmm, you know that pie was delicious. Did you bake it yourself?

  Joel Robinson : Oh no, it's just a recipe my grandmother stole from the bakery.

  Joel Robinson : [Crow slurps down coffee]  Hey, you want some more?

  Crow T. Robot : Only half a gallon.

  Joel Robinson : What are you so smug about? You look like a man who's just inherited Texas.

  Tom Servo : Well, it may not be too far off. You know, this coffee tastes like it came out of an oil derrick. What did you strain it through, a mummy?

  Crow T. Robot : Yeah. The coffee tastes like mud. Roger Mudd.

  Tom Servo : Oh, the coffee wasn't half as bad as the dinner.

  Joel Robinson : Well, I always burn it when you come home drunk.

  Crow T. Robot : So you burn it every night?

  Joel Robinson : Don't bring that up again.

  Crow T. Robot : I have to bring it up: if I hold it in, I'll die.

  Tom Servo : Dye. That's what this coffee tastes like. Dye!

  Joel Robinson : Did you two get enough? You hardly touched your steak.

  Crow T. Robot : I didn't want to touch it, it scared me.

• Tom Servo : Yeah, talking about steaks being tough, I thought they retired mail order studs.

  Joel Robinson : Well, what would you know about being a stud?

  Crow T. Robot : The meat was better if you put that fuzzy gravy on it.

  Tom Servo : [disgusted]  Oh, was that gravy?I thought the dog had been sick.

  Crow T. Robot : I've never seen spam served so many ways, especially in a jello.

  Tom Servo : [coughs]  You know, halfway through the dinner, my fillet got up and beat the hell out of my coffee and the coffee was too weak to defend itself.

  Joel Robinson : Oh well, it looks like you enjoyed the marinade or were you just being a pig?

  Crow T. Robot : Hey, the only thing around here that's marinated is Tom.

  Tom Servo : Oh that's great. Why don't you just skip the dinner and go straight to passing out on the table?

  Joel Robinson : OK, keep it down, you two.

  Crow T. Robot : [grossed out]  I don't think I can keep anything down if I have to keep looking at that dessert.

  Tom Servo : Oh, you know, forget about the pie and just read the recipe.