- Artemus Gordon: This young lady annoying you mister?
- Jim West: Oh that's alright, i don't want to press charges lieutenant...?
- Artemus Gordon: Greeley. Fifth Cavalry. Just transferred in. I declare, young gals theses days are getting more headstrong and impulsive every minute. Now run along gal.
- Aimee Baldwin: Headstrong? Impulsive? I'll have you know you are sassing Miss Aimee Baldwin.
- Artemus Gordon: Baldwin? Baldwin? Are you related to Enoch Baldwin, a lance corporal?
- Aimee Baldwin: No, just the daughter of the fort commander. And when daddy, the general, hears how you spoke to me he'll have you drawn and quartered, Mr. Neeley.
- Artemus Gordon: Greeley, Greeley. Well now I sure do regret that ma'am because, that would look terrible in my daddy's newspaper, wouldn't it?
- Aimee Baldwin: Newspaper? You don't mean your daddy's Horace Greeley?
- Artemus Gordon: Why you guessed it.
- Aimee Baldwin: Oh, well, daddy just loves the New York Herald.
- Artemus Gordon: Isn't that a coincidence, so does my daddy. Only he happens to be the editor of the Mobile Alabama Weekly Gazette!