The Venture Bros. (TV Series)

A Very Venture Christmas (2004)

Steven Rattazzi: Dr. Orpheus

Quotes 

• Dr. Venture : Oh, Orpheus! Ah, I wasn't expecting you to show up. Didn't think necromancers believed in Christmas.

  Dr. Orpheus : Well, the whole affair is about as real as Kwanzaa, or, uh... the Wookie's Life Day... But I find it charming!

• [A horrifying creature has burst in to the house:] 

  Dr. Venture : What the hell is that thing?

  Dr. Orpheus : I'm afraid we're being visited upon by the Krampus, the punitive spirit who once rode side by side with Saint Nicholas each Christmas Eve, delivering terrible punishment to wicked children as Claus bestowed his gifts upon the righteous.

  Dr. Venture : That's ridiculous! There's no such thing as Santa Claus.

  Dr. Orpheus : Not since he was killed by a jet in 1963, no. Nor has there been a Krampus since the Pope cast him into purgatory during Vatican II. But your boys seem to have inadvertently released him from his chains.

  Hank Venture : Dean did it! I wanted to read The Grinch!

  [Dean makes a muffled protest.] 

  Triana Orpheus : [uneasily, as the Krampus licks her]  Um, dad...

  Dr. Venture : What kind of kinky Christmas spirit is that?

  Dr. Orpheus : It is Germanic in origin...

  Dr. Venture : Well can't you just - I don't know - magic it away or something?

  Dr. Orpheus : No more than you could *science* it away. No. The beast will not stop until it has punished the wicked in this house!

  Dr. Venture : Well, there's no one wicked he...

  [The Krampus abruptly seizes Dr. Venture and starts waling on him.] 

• Triana Orpheus : Dad, I can take care of myself, you know.

  Dr. Byron Orpheus : I'm sorry, pumpkin. I trust you to defend your honor. It's just that... MY PUMPKIN'S MAIDENHEAD IS NOT A PRIZE TO BE...

  Triana Orpheus : DAD!