- Albert Rosenfield: Oh, Coop, uh, about the uniform... replacing the quiet elegance of the dark suit and tie with the casual indifference of these muted earth tones is a form of fashion suicide, but, uh, call me crazy - on you it works.
- Albert Rosenfield: [Albert almost bumps into Bobby Briggs as Bobby leaves the interrogation room with a bad attitude] Get a life, punk!
- Albert Rosenfield: My invite back to Twin Peaks: Windom Earle. Direct orders from Gordon Cole. As he so succinctly put it,
- [shouting]
- Albert Rosenfield: "I'm worried about Coop."
- Jerry Horne: Now, Audrey, you know I was upset too, but there's some projects, both domestic and international, that *I*'d like a chance to develop. I mean, one man's crisis is another man's opportunity.
- [kisses her forehead]
- Audrey Horne: Let me tell you something, Uncle Jerry. We leave him the way he is, and I become executor of the estate.
- Jerry Horne: Oh, Audrey, it's a little more complicated than that, sweetheart.
- Audrey Horne: No it isn't. I examined his will, Jerry. If my father becomes incapacitated, it all goes to me when I'm old enough. And I *am* old enough, Jer, and he *is* incapacitated. I have my way either way. Where the only project you'll be developing is selling baseboard heaters at the local Cash 'n' Carry.
- Jerry Horne: [sees the light] What's happened to the man is a tragedy.
- Audrey Horne: It is a tragedy, Jer.
- Sheriff Harry S. Truman: I'll assign a couple of my deputies to the house 24 hours a day.
- Bobby Briggs: Hey man, I can take care if Shelly, alright? You just save the deputies.
- Sheriff Harry S. Truman: Bobby Briggs... button it.
- Special Agent Dale Cooper: I hope it's not Josie, for Harry's sake.
- Albert Rosenfield: Coop, as you know, Truman and I have had our differences in the past, but the big lug's got his heart in the right place, if nothing else, and I'm not above feeling a little sympathy for the stalwart and the dull.
- Special Agent Dale Cooper: What's your point, Albert?
- Albert Rosenfield: Speaking frankly?
- Special Agent Dale Cooper: Feel free.
- Albert Rosenfield: Our sheriff's got a serious problem with his girlfriend.