South Park (TV Series)

Weight Gain 4000 (1997)

Matt Stone: Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick, Ted, Announcer, Weight Gain 4000 Spokesman, Man in Crowd #1, Man Walking Down Street, Jimbo Kern, Man Greeting Garrison, Bodyguard #1, Bodyguard #2, TV Presenter, Man in Crowd #3

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kyle : Hey Stan. Did you see that rainbow this morning?

  Stan : Yeah. It was huge.

  Cartman : Eh. I hate those things.

  Kyle : Nobody hates rainbows.

  Stan : Yeah. What's there to hate about rainbows?

  Cartman : Well, you know. You'll just be sitting there, minding your own business, and they'll come marching in, and crawl up your leg, and start biting the inside of your ass, and you'll be all like, "Hey. Get out of my ass you stupid rainbows."

  Stan : Cartman, what the hell are you talking about?

  Cartman : I'm talking about rainbows. I hate those friggin' things.

  Kyle : Rainbows are those little arches of color that show up during a rainstorm.

  Cartman : Oh. RainBOWS. Oh yeah, I like those. Those are cool.

  Stan : What were you talking about?

  Cartman : Huh? Oh nothing. Forget it.

  Kyle : No. What marches in, crawls up your leg-...

  Cartman : Nothing.

  Kyle : ...and starts biting the inside of your ass?

  Cartman : Nothing.

• Cartman : I am not fat, I'm big-boned.

  Kyle : Jay Leno's chin is big-boned. You're a big fat ass.

  Cartman : Nuh-uh!

  Kyle : Cartman, you have such a big fat ass that when you walk down the street people say, "GODDAMMIT, that's a big fat ass!"

  Man : Goddamn it, that's a big fat ass!

  Cartman : Hey!

• Geraldo Rivera : Obesity. Adiposity. Corpulence. Whatever word you use, it represents one thing: being a big fatass.

• Kyle : What are you drinking, Cartman?

  Cartman : Weight Gain 4000. It's helping me bulk up.

  Stan : Bulk up to what? Fat ass?

  Kyle : Super fat ass?

• Jimbo : Uh-oh.

  Chef : You know, Kathie Lee, you are a very special woman. I don't mean special in a Mary Tyler Moore way, or special in an extra value meal at Happy Burger way. No, no, no, no, no. I mean special, like the song of a hummingbird as it gets ready to find that female hummingbird and make sweet love to it all night long. Just two hummingbirds moaning and groaning and letting their bodies caress and touch each other in ecstasy.

  [sings] 

  Chef : Oh Kathie Lee / How I'd love to lay you down / And lick every inch of your body with my tongue. / Kathie Lee, you're my sexual fantasy. / How 'bout you and me get it together and make sweet love?