The Simpsons (TV Series)

Jaws Wired Shut (2002)

Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson

Quotes 

• [the Simpsons are buying tickets to a PG-13 movie] 

  Lisa : Mom, why is this movie rated PG-13?

  Marge : [reading pamphlet]  It says it may contain brief rudeness, adult explosions, and scenes with Garry Shandling.

  [Bart and Lisa shudder] 

• Homer : Stop the madness! Start the movie!

  Lisa : Maybe we should try to calm dad down.

  Bart : I prefer to egg him on. Hey, dad, has the movie started yet?

  Homer : [hysterical scream]  YAAAHHHHHH!

• [a gay pride parade is marching past the Simpson home] 

  Gay men : We're here. We're queer. Get used to it.

  Lisa : You do this every year, we are used to it.

  Marcher : Spoilsport!

• Homer : [seeing Lisa come home in a fit, he writes on his chalkboard]  What's wrong?

  Lisa : [surprised]  You wanna know what happened?

  Homer : [writing]  Yes.

  Lisa : Really?

  Homer : [erasing and re-writing]  Yes.

  Lisa : We were playing four square, and I called no double taps, and Ralph double-taps. And I said, "You're out." And he says

  [imitating Ralph] 

  Lisa : "I can do a sum-ber-salt." Which has nothing to do with anything.

  Homer : [thinking as he hugs her]  Aw, maybe a hug will cork her cry-hole.

• Lisa : [seeing a "movie star scramble" game at the theater]  These are so easy. It's obviously Tom Hanks.

  [seeing the answer is Otm Shank] 

  Lisa : Who?

  Apu Nahasapeemapetilon : Otm Shank. He is India's answer to Brian Dennehy.