[first lines]
Cassie McBain: [seen alighting from bus, voice heard] To say that it was a difficult mission, would be putting it mildly. It went like trying to plug a hole in the Titanic with a TikTak.
Shane Phillips: [seen alighting from bus, voice heard] Yeah, but we did it. Our mission was a success. Even though by the time we finished it had taken a bigger toll than the Pennsylvanian turnpike.
D.D. Cummings: [seen alighting from bus, voice heard] Actually, a better analogy would be the *Ohio* turnpike, which is more expensive and therefore could be a greater level of stress.
Shane Phillips: [seen, but not really talking] That is better, you're right.
Cassie McBain: [seen, but not talking] And what is our reward for a job well done? Were we hailed as heroes and anointed with precious spices and oils?
Shane Phillips: [seen, but not talking] *No!* There was no anointing, it was just Jack pushing as right into what we assumed was our next assignment.
D.D. Cummings: [seen, but not talking] For once, if he could just see what it was *like* out there. Instead of sitting behind his desk with his comfy chair
[behind her, Jack alights from bus carrying little dictaphone from which these recorded voices eminate]
D.D. Cummings: and his ergonomic keyboard and his stained maple cup...
Cassie McBain: [seen, but not talking] And don't forget his nickel-plated Puerto Rican nose hair clippers.
[Jack gives his long-suffering smile as he replays the evidence]
Cassie McBain: Not that he doesn't need those.
[all laugh heartily on the recording, but in the present, slightly shamefaced in front of Jack]
Shane Phillips: Mm. Okay, we probably heard enough of that part of the conversation that you *secretly* recorded.
D.D. Cummings: Besides, it's pretty much unfair anyway.
[Jack continues to play back what she said:]
D.D. Cummings: Are you kidding? Sometimes the hair gets so long, I just wanna say "Jack, come on, either clip 'em or braid 'em."
[Jack smirks spitefully and mimics nose hair clipping]
Cassie McBain: [on recording] Damn, did you give him the nose hair clippers?
D.D. Cummings: [on recording] My uncle gave them to me for my dog, but he died of eczema.
Shane Phillips: [on recording] Your uncle?
D.D. Cummings: [on recording] My dog.
Cassie McBain, Shane Phillips: [on recording] Eww!