Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Busboy (1991)

Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jerry Seinfeld : Sometimes you go to a restaurant, they put the check in a little book. What is this, the story of the bill? "Once upon a time, there were some very hungry people." What is this? Little gold tassel hanging down. Am I graduating from the restaurant? What is this about?

• Jerry Seinfeld : [On the phone with George, Kramer's just walked in]  Well, who told you to give him your business card?

  [buzzer sounds, to Kramer] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : That's Elaine.

  [Kramer buzzes her in, Jerry turns back to the phone] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : It's Kramer. Hold on, I'll ask him

  [to Kramer] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : George wants to know when you want to go look for the cat again.

  Kramer : It's been two weeks, it's up to the cat now.

  Jerry Seinfeld : [to George]  Kramer says, "It's up to the cat now."

  [to Kramer, now relaying what George says] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : "It'll be on your conscience."

  Kramer : Oh, how do you figure?

  Jerry Seinfeld : [to George]  "How do you figure?"

  [to Kramer] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : "Because you didn't close the door."

  Kramer : Well, why was I in charge of closing the door?

  Jerry Seinfeld : [to George, now annoyed by relaying the messages]  "Why was he in charge of closing the door?"

  [to Kramer] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : Because you came in after him.

  Kramer : So?

  Jerry Seinfeld : [to George]  "So?"

  [to Kramer] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : "So the last person in should close the door!"

  Kramer : [Reaches for Jerry's phone]  Here, let me talk to him.

  Jerry Seinfeld : No, call him from your place!

  [to George, as Kramer leaves] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : He's calling you right now. Okay!

• [last lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : First of all, I can't believe that people actually do fight. People have fistfights in life. And I can't really believe we have boxing, either. It's really kind of an amazing thing. To me, the problem with boxing is you have two guys having a fight that have no prior argument. Why don't they have the boxers come into the ring in little cars, drive around a little bit, have a little accident, they get out... "Did you see my signal? Look at that fender!" Then you'd see a real fight.

• [first lines] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : I'm not a foodie. I don't... "Oh, this is too rare. Oh, it's too salty." Just eat it and shut up. I'll eat anywhere, whatever they're having. I have eaten rolls off of room-service trays in hotel hallways. I have. That's not a joke. This is my life. I don't know. Somebody left it. Why would somebody poison a roll and leave it in the hallway for some comic coming down at 2:00 in the morning? Why would they do that? Sometimes, you go to a nice restaurant, they put the check in a little book. What is this, the story of the bill? "Once upon a time, there were some very hungry people..." What is this? A little gold tassel hanging down... Am I graduating from the restaurant? What is this about?