Roseanne (TV Series)
The Mommy's Curse (1993)
Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner
Quotes
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Jackie Harris : [talking about getting their Mom out of the restaurant] Alright. Okay, neither of us is going to do it, so we're stuck with her.
Roseanne Conner : What we need is a glass of chardonnay on a great big ol' rat trap.
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Bev Harris : Do I smell my favorite yankee potroast? What's the occasion?
Roseanne Conner : No occasion. Dan hit a Yankee on the way home.
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Bev Harris : Here you go, Mr. Ficus, a drink of water so you can continue replenishing the air around us with fresh oxygen.
Roseanne Conner : Mom, I told you before to stop talking to the plant, it tried to throw itself off that stand three times already.
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Nancy Bartlett : Hey Roseanne, I had the worst date with a woman last night. She was rude and selfish, and after all that she still wouldn't spend the night.
Roseanne Conner : Oh let me guess, she spent the whole evening talking about golf.
Nancy Bartlett : Well that's it, I'm back onto men this week. Are there any straight guys around here?
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Roseanne Conner : Come on, give me your best shot, give it to me right in the chops.
Bev Harris : I'm sorry, Roseanne, but unlike *some* people, I don't hurt my loved ones.
Roseanne Conner : Yes you do, Mom! You just stretch it out longer. When I take a Band-Aid off my kid's knee I just rip it all off at once, but you have been taking the same damn Band-Aid off my knee one hair at a time for 40 years!
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Roseanne Conner : [Bev's not talking to Roseanne] Oh I get it, silent partner, very good, but since we're not at the diner, that doesn't really apply here.
Bev Harris : Oh! Well thank you, Roseanne, for allowing me to speak in my own home! If my sentences run on too long just let me know.
Roseanne Conner : Well, that one was close.
