- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: It's a bikini. Two piece.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: A bottom. And a hat?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Puerto Rican?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Any chance you're gonna try that on?
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: You first!
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Trust me. Not gonna fit.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Pigs. I work with pigs.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [to Tony] Kate is going with you.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: I'm sure Tony can handle this alone.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: When did an order turn into a debate?
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Reynolds says there's no known material missing, but the intel's soft. They'll continue to check.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Stay on it every five minutes.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: He expressly told me to wait for his call.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Well, I expressly don't give a damn. Ride his ass.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: You know Abby, sometimes the dead make more sense to me than the living.
- Abby Sciuto: Me, too.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [comes back from a trip bearing gifts] It's a fantasy RPG book. Complete with character books and dice... baby steps, Gibbs. Baby steps.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: It's in Spanish.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: There's just no pleasing you, is there?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Skipper, I have reason to believe a bomb, possibly containing a bio-agent, is set to detonate aboard this ship by sunset.
- Commander Rivers: How real do you think that threat is?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Very real.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [about online games] And why do they use such weird names?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: When you're a computer geek invading dungeons and fighting ogres, "Jethro" doesn't cut it.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [pause] Neither does "Tony".
- [about the crew on board a destroyer]
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: To them, we're the Internal Affairs of the Navy.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Seaman Russell McDonald. 19. Assigned to the USS Foster.
- Agent Caitlin 'Kate' Todd: Destroyer. Spruance Class.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Hey, look at that, the new kid on the block's been doin' her homework.