- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'm not getting a signal. How about you?
- Officer Ziva David: [holds up her cell phone] No. I'm braless.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I noticed that earlier. But on your phone they're called "bars."
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Wait, back up a second. You were with McGeek?
- Officer Ziva David: No, he was with me. I was making him dinner.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Why would you make McGeek dinner?
- Officer Ziva David: I like to cook.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You cook?
- Officer Ziva David: Jimmy seemed to like it.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Palmer? I've never even been to your place and you're cooking dinner for McGee and the autopsy gremlin? At what point did the Earth fall off its axis?
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: You ever had a conversation in the head, McGee?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: One time I did. The person I was talking to was so distracted my shoes, they kinda got...
- [Gibbs slaps the back of his head]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: So, riddle me this Batgirl. How does one wrangle an invite to dinner at your place?
- Officer Ziva David: Why, feel a little left out, Tony?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I mean, McGee, I can understand. He's a good guest. I bet he brought a bottle of wine.
- Officer Ziva David: And dessert.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Yeah, big surprise there. But Palmer? I've had more stimulating conversations with cats.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [locked in a shipping container with a large crate of cash] I'll tell you what. When we get out of here, I'm gonna buy you a house!
- [Ziva chuckles]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: But it's going to have to be a fake one - because these are counterfeit.
- Officer Ziva David: Careful. This thing could be booby-trapped a dozen different ways.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Then why are we opening it again?
- Officer Ziva David: Because if it is a bomb, it might be armed.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Hey, listen, if this thing goes off, I just want you to know that...
- Officer Ziva David: This is not your fault, I know.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Uh, no. I was gonna say that your life would've had more meaning if you'd slept with me.
- Officer Ziva David: If you had anything else on your mind, perhaps I would have.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Really?
- Officer Ziva David: No.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [after rescuing Tony and Ziva] You two okay?
- Officer Ziva David: No.
- [She kicks the enemy agent in the groin, then limps away]
- Officer Ziva David: Now if you gentlemen will excuse me...
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Where are you going?
- Officer Ziva David: I've been locked in a box all day! The ladies' room!
- Abby Sciuto: The grooves match. All three rounds that you pulled out of toothless downstairs came from Tony's weapon. And none of the blood samples take from the dock match Tony or Ziva's blood type. I think they're going to be okay. Tony is only one of our very best agents and Ziva, she's basically a trained killer, right? I mean, she could take care of herself. And I got a direct link to four different GPS satellites. Either of them get an area with reception again, bam! We got them. I really don't think that there's any reason to worry, Ducky. They're going to be fine.
- [Ducky gestures for Abby to come in for a hug]
- Abby Sciuto: I need you to tell me they're going to be okay.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Of course they are.
- Officer Ziva David: I can't see where we're going.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: There are three ways we can get there. By train...
- Officer Ziva David: That's quaint. We can be like the homos in those old movies.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: "Hobos."
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [explaining how he knows the money is counterfeit] The ink. It smells.
- Officer Ziva David: Yes, like ink.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Well, our money doesn't smell.
- [pulls a bill from his pocket]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Here, try it. Give it a little sniff
- Officer Ziva David: [does so] That smells like stale alcohol...
- [coughs]
- Officer Ziva David: And your armpit.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [sniffs it] Yeah. The point is, it doesn't smell like ink.
- Officer Ziva David: Best sex movie?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: "Body Heat." William Hurt, Kathleen Turner. Smart-noir. I like the whole sweaty, chair-through-glass-door thing.
- Officer Ziva David: I prefer the air conditioner on, and if somebody threw a chair through my door, I would probably shoot them.
- Officer Ziva David: [Ziva and Tony have been locked inside a shipping container] I think we've just been screwed in here, Tony!
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: The term is "bolted."
- Officer Ziva David: Same difference!
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'll tell you this, when we get out of here we're watching "Kuch Kuch Hota Hai."
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Why are you on top of me?
- Officer Ziva David: I'm protecting you, Tony.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Don't.
- Officer Ziva David: Well, you didn't seem to mind when we were undercover.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: That might have something to do with the fact that you were naked.
- Officer Ziva David: Perhaps if it were warmer in here...
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Let me rephrase the question, Why are you Still on top of me?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: What is it about danger and uncertainty that makes me feel so...
- Officer Ziva David: Horny?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Hungry. I'd kill for a pizza right now.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Let's hear a Ziva David fantasy.
- Officer Ziva David: It concerns you.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Ooo, I'm all ears.
- Officer Ziva David: I'm a sumo wrestler.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You can stop there.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: You'll find them Jethro.
- Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Is that a statement or a question Duck?
- Dr. Donald Mallard: [Jethro walks off and Duckie whispers] More of a prayer.