- Maddie Hayes: [David hanging from the back of a door, still drunk from the night before] David, David, David. You look awful.
- David Addison Jr.: Don't you "David, David, David" me, you wanton woman. That's what you are. A woman who's wanton.
- Maddie Hayes: For your in formation, I spent last evening with...
- David Addison Jr.: With who?
- Maddie Hayes: I swore I wouldn't tell...
- David Addison Jr.: Come on, your secret's safe... Give me a hint. Rhymes with...
- Maddie Hayes: No!
- David Addison Jr.: Joe?
- Maddie Hayes: Addison!
- David Addison Jr.: Maddison?
- Maddie Hayes: Please!
- David Addison Jr.: Louise?
- David Addison Jr.: You're weird.
- Maddie Hayes: This is very meaningful. Humpty Dumpty is calling me cracked.
- David Addison Jr.: No, no, no... You're repressed or obsessed or one of those "essed" words. Every time something comes up that involves men or sex or...
- Maddie Hayes: Boinking?"Is that the word you're looking for?
- David Addison Jr.: See what I mean? That's not normal.
- Maddie Hayes: I'm supposed to sit here and discuss my mental health with a man who refers to the act of human procreation as boinking?
- David Addison Jr.: See? See what I mean? Right away, you get all stiff and tense.