Married... with Children (TV Series)

Bearly Men (1995)

David Faustino: Bud Bundy

Quotes 

• Bud Bundy : Dad, this is nuts. Isn't there a-a-a nudie bar around Wanker we could take him to prove we're men?

  Al Bundy : Son, there is, but Wanker strippers are scarier than anything in these woods.

• Al Bundy , Bud Bundy : [singing to the Daniel Boone Theme song]  Grandma Wanker was a woman/She was a biiig woman/With the breath of a wino/and the chins of a rhino was she.

• Al Bundy : Jeez, it's lumpier than sleeping with your mother. How come you're so comfortable, Bud?

  Bud Bundy : Well, 'cause I, uh, brought an air mattress with me.

  [Bud has an inflatable doll in his sleeping bag] 

• Al Bundy : You hid all the food from the bears in your sleeping bag, didn't you?

  Bud Bundy : Yeah, just like you told me.

• Ephraim Wanker : We gotta track that bear down.

  Kelly Bundy : Hey, you guys, I saw this documentary once where the park ranger captured the bear by putting out a picnic basket.

  Bud Bundy : Kel, did this documentary perhaps take place in Jellystone National Park?

  Kelly Bundy : Yeah, did you see it too?

• Bud Bundy : [about Ephraim]  I can't believe that worthless geezer left us here on our own.

  Al Bundy : Well, to be fair, he left us a map.

  [looks at the map] 

  Al Bundy : Unfortunately, it's a map of Epcot Center!