- Commander Smythe: [driving to the fair in a convertible] Ha, ha, there's nothing quite like getting an early start to awaken the senses. The crisp, clear smell of the dawn. Ha, ha! Makes you yearn for the war years, eh, Devon? Leading a bristled gaggle of men into battle. The clash of steel against steel, my God, ha, ha!
- Devon Miles: Yes, steel against steel, yes, quite.
- Leroy: [as girl in red bikini walks past] Look at that blonde. Oh, that bathing suit's gotta be painted on. What there is of it.
- Hector: Now she would make a great cheerleader.
- Leroy: Will you forget about cheerleaders? Who cares about credentials here, I'm talking flesh! You know what it takes to get that kind of flesh, Hector?
- [Hector shakes his head]
- Leroy: Big bucks, Hector. Or a hot car.
- Michael Knight: Devon sure looked great in that blazer, didn't he?
- K.I.T.T.: I had the distinct impression he was trying to impress the car.
- Michael Knight: Can you blame him? The Pennington Ascot Regency is a classic.
- Michael Knight: [Kitt is silent] Not that you aren't in its class.
- Michael Knight: [still no reply] Actually, Kitt, you are in a class all by yourself. You're one of a kind.
- K.I.T.T.: Thank you.
- Michael Knight: Can you tell me who runs the show?
- Carrie Haver: Sure, eh, Susan Weston. She's over there. Look for the tight pants.
- Carrie Haver: [Carrie's car has been stolen] If you had anything to do with this...
- Suzanne Weston: If that's an accusation, you'd better be able to back it up.
- Carrie Haver: Oh, if I could back it up you wouldn't be standing there with your eyeshadow so perfectly overdone.
- Suzanne Weston: Well, you've got a smart mouth for a girl who just turned in her training bra, sweetie!
- K.I.T.T.: April, I can't believe you're participating in this barbarism.
- April Curtis: Now Kitt, you know we wouldn't be doing this if it weren't absolutely necessary.
- K.I.T.T.: How would you feel if someone decided to extend your nose, remove your ears, lengthen your neck and paint your body candy-apple red? Thank goodness Wilton Knight isn't here to see this sacrilege.
- Carrie Haver: [to Michael] Who are you? I mean, you're more than what you've said.
- Michael Knight: Well, believe it or not, I'm here to find out who's been stealing the cars whenever there's a show.
- Carrie Haver: What are you? An undercover cop?
- Michael Knight: Something like that.
- Devon Miles: Michael, have you made any progress at all?
- Michael Knight: Uh, that depends on how you define progress.
- Devon Miles: I define it as recovering the Pennington.
- Michael Knight: In that case, no. But I've come up with a new approach. I've decided to change tactics.
- Devon Miles: Well, while you're changing tactics, I'm running out of time. Commander Smythe is due here in less than 24 hours.
- Michael Knight: Maybe you can stall him.
- Devon Miles: My dear boy, one does not stall the Commander. One tries to survive him.
- Commander Smythe: [marches into the scene] Lieutenant Miles, ten-shun!
- [Devon shuts his eyes in annoyance]
- K.I.T.T.: [Nora is pushing buttons in the just-stolen KITT] Kindly keep your hands to yourself, Madam.
- Nora Rayburn: What? Oh, I see, one of those talking cars. 'Your fuel is low,' 'please close your door.' How unnerving.
- K.I.T.T.: You ain't seen nothin' yet.
- Nora Rayburn: Wait a minute, they don't program cars with bad grammar!