- Col. Klink: One of our trucks is buried in the snow and we need someone to shovel it out.
- Col. Hogan: Why don't you order your men to do it?
- Col. Klink: Because my men are guarding your men and it's very difficult to hold a gun and a shovel at the same time.
- Col. Hogan: No problem, we'll hold their guns for them.
- General Strommberger: We have a report of a threat of an avalanche in Hoffenstein pass. The slightest noise could trigger it.
- LeBeau: What? I mean,
- [shouting]
- LeBeau: WHAT?
- General Strommberger: It would take more than that, Corporal.
- Newkirk: Does the General have any requests at all, sir? We have a lovely arrangement of "Deutschland Über Alles".
- Col. Hogan: Now that we've lost our explosives, the only chance we have to stall those panzer divisions is to do a lousy job of clearing that pass.
- Newkirk: Well, if you don't mind me saying so, sir, you couldn't pick a better group to do a lousy job.