- Colonel Klink: Of course, you want me to handle it with my usual Klink efficiency, General.
- General der Infantrie Albert Burkhalter: No, this time I want it done right.
- Colonel Klink: [to Burkhalter, over the radio, about the party] I'm only sorry there is no ice cream. We had pistachio, but one of the guards shot it with a machine gun.
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: [trying to persuade Col. Klink to call General Burkhalter] Why don't you give him a call, sir it means so much to him.
- Colonel Klink: I will thank him the next time I see him, huh? How about "Lili Marlene"!
- [everyone except Hogan continues to shout and sing]
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: Call the general... Call the general, sir. Nothing says you like your voice. Please!
- Colonel Klink: Why do you keep looking at the time, Hogan?
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: The call sir, it's after 7:00 you get the night rate. Please.
- Colonel Klink: In case I'm, uh, recommended for promotion - not that I'm asking you, sir - I'm sure that the board will take my extremely marvelous physical fitness into consideration.
- General der Infantrie Albert Burkhalter: Physical fitness is one thing. Mental fitness - that's another.