The Golden Girls (TV Series)

The Auction (1989)

Rue McClanahan: Blanche Devereaux

Quotes 

• Sophia Petrillo : Picture it: Sardinia, 1932...

  Blanche : [interrupting]  I thought these stories of yours always took place in Sicily.

  Sophia Petrillo : Can't a person go away for the weekend?

• Blanche : Wait a minute, Rose. Is that my Cabana Club beach towel you have there?

  Rose : Is it this one with the naked man and woman being swept up in the waves?

  Blanche : Yes, that's it. You can't use this towel.

  [takes towel from Rose] 

  Dorothy : Blanche, Blanche, it's an emergency. We'll replace it next week.

  [takes towel from Blanche] 

  Blanche : Oh, no, you cannot replace this towel. There are too many fond memories attached to this towel.

  [attempts to wrest towel from Dorothy] 

  Dorothy : Blanche, please. I am in no mood to hear about the parade of endless sexual encounters that you have experienced up and down the Florida coastline, with only this towel between your hot flesh and the cold, wet sand!

  Blanche : I brought my son, Skippy, home from the hospital in this towel, Dorothy.

  Dorothy : You're lying, Blanche.

  Blanche : Damn, you're good.

• Sophia Petrillo : Let me tell you a story. Picture it. Sardinia, 1932.

  Blanche : I thought these stories of yours always took place in Sicily.

  Sophia Petrillo : Can't a person go away for the weekend? Anyway, I'm on a tour of the great caper factories of Sardinia. I was a kooky kid going through my piccata period. A wedge of lemon and a smart answer for everything. Anyway, I was I was slicing an onion when suddenly this big basil tree...

  Dorothy : Ma, what the hell are you talking about? You're not making any sense.

  Sophia Petrillo : I was hoping the late hour would help to mask that. I don't have a story about taking advantage of a dead guy for money. I got a great story about a Moroccan and a monkey, but that really comes under the heading of lust.