- Lorelai: [Acting like a dim-witted salesgirl while showing off her mother's new personal panic room] I know how to protect you from Agent Orange and shrapnel. Ask me how!
- Rory Gilmore: The less you tell grandma, the better.
- Lorelai Gilmore: By George, I think she's got it!
- Rory Gilmore: What?
- Lorelai Gilmore: I have been trying to burn that into your brain since you were a baby but you stubbornly resisted. Now a breakthrough, I'm so proud.
- Rory Gilmore: [in Richard's study] The drink cart's over there, Grandma. We can grab the gin and vamoose.
- Lorelai Gilmore: No, she's got vamoose, remember? It's the gin we need.
- Rory Gilmore: Okay, just to remind you, once again, the drink cart is right over here. Oh, and I think I spot gin. It's brown, right?
- Lorelai Gilmore: I love that you think that.
- Emily Gilmore: It's a panic room.
- Rory Gilmore: Like Jodie Foster?
- Emily Gilmore: What does Jodie Foster have to do with it?
- Luke Danes: Here we go:
- [to Lorelai]
- Luke Danes: boysenberry pie with ice cream,
- [to Rory]
- Luke Danes: hot fudge sundae, half a grapefruit.
- Rory Gilmore: I don't want a grapefruit.
- Luke Danes: It's good for you.
- Rory Gilmore: Kinda my point.
- Luke Danes: [looking at Lorelai] It's too late for her, but not for you. Eat it.
- Lorelai Gilmore: The service is very rude. No tip for you.
- [to Rory]
- Lorelai Gilmore: In fact, he actually owes us a lot of money because we weren't supposed to be tipping him all these years.
- Rory Gilmore: I know. Customarily, you do not have to tip the proprietor of an establishment.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Why have we been tipping him all these years?
- Rory Gilmore: We like him?
- Lorelai Gilmore: Oh, that.
- [to Luke]
- Lorelai Gilmore: Hey, bring us some coffee, and I promise this grapefruit will be eaten.
- Luke Danes: O-kay.
- [Leaves]
- Lorelai Gilmore: How long is my nose?
- Rory Gilmore: Very.
- Rory Gilmore: What'd you have in mind?
- Lorelai Gilmore: I'll surprise you with it; but it's a classic Stars Hollow slate of activities.
- Rory Gilmore: So we're gonna TP Taylor's house again?
- Lorelai Gilmore: Oh! I wanted it to be a surprise.