- Frasier: This is killing me! You think I don't want to pick you up right now, carry you over to that Eames classic, and show you why it's the best-engineered chair in the world?
- Catherine: God! And to think I was going to have sex with you. And it was going to be hot. Oh, like you've never had before. I'm talking steamy, sweat-dripping-down-your-back, neighbors- pounding-on-the-wall, illegal-in-48-states kind of sex! But, hey, you're okay, you won't be alone tonight. No, you've got your ethics!
- [on her way out the door]
- Catherine: Oh, by the way, the fish was dry.
- Frasier: Oh, that was a cheap shot!
- [Though it's October 21st, Martin and Daphne decorate the apartment for Christmas, to take the picture for their cards]
- Daphne Moon: [looking at the tree] Oh, it's lovely.
- Daphne Moon, Martin Crane: [singing] Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...!
- [Frasier comes in from his nap]
- Frasier: Excuse me, excuse me... exactly how long have I been asleep?
- [Frasier is appalled at his caller, Marco, saying he doesn't want to commit to his girlfriend "in case somebody better comes along."]
- Frasier: Tell me listeners, what is it with guys like that? Hey Roz, you've been around the block a few times. You ever run into a guy like Marco?
- Roz Doyle: Oh, they're all Marcos. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a Marco.
- Frasier: Come on. I mean, if that were so, then no-one would be having a relationship.
- Roz Doyle: Well, I'm not. My sister's not. None of my friends are. I've seen the future, and its name is Marco.
- Roz Doyle: 20 seconds, and I've got news for you: Marco's on line 2.
- Frasier: Marco?
- Roz Doyle: You know, the guy you got out of the way so you could keep his girlfriend for yourself? Ten Seconds.
- Frasier: I'm not talking to him. I don't want to talk to him. There's no way I'm talking to him.
- Roz Doyle: 3, 2...
- Frasier: Hi, we're back. Roz, whom do we have on the line?
- Roz Doyle: We have Marco on line 2.
- Frasier: Who's this on line 3?
- Roz Doyle: Oh, Todd... oops darn, we lost Todd, but lucky for you we still have Marco on line 2.
- Daphne Moon: [handing out woolen hats for a Christmas card photo] Now the theme this year is "Santa's Workshop." Everybody put on your little elf hats.
- Frasier: I am not putting this on my head. For God's sake, I mean, I'm a respected professional.
- Martin Crane: [wearing his] But if you don't, it'll look stupid.
- Frasier: Oh, I think the ship has already sailed on that one.
- Martin Crane: [Trying to take a Christmas card photo] Just put the hat on, Frasier.
- Frasier: You can't tell me what to do.
- Martin Crane: I am telling you, look, put the hat on.
- Frasier: No, look, the days are passed when you can just sit me on top of some stupid old Packard and make me wear matching sweaters with my little brother.
- Daphne Moon: Boys, boys please. Don't fight. Are you forgetting what day it is?
- Frasier: It's October 21st!
- Frasier: How I envy you, Eddie. The biggest questions in your life are, "Who's going to walk me? Who's going to feed me?" I won't know that kind of joy for another forty years.