Extras (TV Series)
Kate Winslet (2005)
Ricky Gervais: Andy Millman
Photos
Quotes
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[Andy and Maggie, in costume as a German refugee and a Nazi soldier, are discussing her new boyfriend between takes]
Maggie Jacobs : [quietly, embarrassed] He likes to talk dirty on the phone. He'll call me up and he's coming out with all this filth.
Andy Millman : Why... would you tell me that?
[grinning]
Andy Millman : What does he say?
Maggie Jacobs : He calls up and says things like "Ooh... what are you doing?"
Andy Millman : What do you say?
Maggie Jacobs : Well I didn't know what was going on at first - I didn't realize - and I was just honest with him and I said "Oh, I'm just cleaning out the vegetable drawer to the fridge."
Andy Millman : [bursts out laughing] What if he thought that was a euphemism? "Ooh, I'm cleaning out my vegetable drawer. Ooh, I'm scrubbing my front step." Have you talked dirty back to him?
Maggie Jacobs : No, I have not. I don't know what to say to him, it's too embarrassing. What if I say something and he just laughs at me, or something and it's too much and he gets all offended?
Andy Millman : Well no, it's just stuff like "Ooh, I'm playing with myself."
[they laugh]
Kate Winslet : [getting coffee behind them in her nun's habit] Sounds interesting.
Andy Millman : Hey. Not me, her.
Kate Winslet : Go on.
Andy Millman : [pause, then in a rush] Her boyfriend likes to talk dirty on the phone and she doesn't know what to say to him.
Kate Winslet : Oh yeah, that can be a bit awkward. Why don't you just start with something light, you know, like um - "I'd love it if you stuck your Willy Wonka between my Oompa-Loompas," you know, something a bit fun, a bit jokey. And then you can get more hardcore, run with the old classics, like "I'm playing with my dirty pillows," "I'm aching for your big purple-headed womb ferret." And then go straight in hard, like "Get 'round here 'cause I'm fudding myself stupid and I'm bloody loving it." Right?
Maggie Jacobs : [incredibly uncomfortable] Yeah.
Kate Winslet : Okay? Back on.
[stands up, walks away]
Andy Millman : [to her as she walks away] Love to Sam Mendes.
[stunned, to Maggie]
Andy Millman : Kate Winslet, talking dirty to Anne Frank and Joseph Goebbels, just another normal day.
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Andy Millman : I think, you know, you doing this is so commendable - you know, using your profile to keep the message alive about the Holocaust.
Kate Winslet : My God, I'm not doing it for that. And I don't think we really need another film about the Holocaust, do we? It's like, how many have there been? You know, we get it - it was grim, move on. No, I'm doing it because I've noticed that if you do a film about the Holocaust - guaranteed Oscar!
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Maggie Jacobs : Oh, how was the date?
Andy Millman : The date. Um, oh, good. Let me just go over some highlights for you. Lied to a priest in front of a room full of Christians, some of them elderly, some of them just weird and bewildered. So insulted them and their belief system, made a woman hate me for the rest of her life. Yeah? Didn't believe in God before. Definitely going to hell.
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Andy Millman : [Andy and Mike are in the prop room] Where's this stuff come from?
Mike : Just buy it.
Andy Millman : What, there's a shop for a 30-foot swastika, is there?
Mike : No, I got that from Mum. It's my nan's.
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Maggie Jacobs : I think I need to go for a wee.
[sigh]
Maggie Jacobs : That's the third one already.
Andy Millman : Good. Well, keep me posted throughout the week. Maybe keep a journal.
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Andy Millman : Oh my god, I've got Jeremy Clarkson's clothes!