- Larry: [sees Wanda Sykes power-walking up ahead and rolls window down] Hey, I'd know that tush anywhere!
- Larry: OK... Wanda...
- Wanda Sykes: Oh, you know who I am, okay. Thought I had to turn around and show you my big ass.
- Larry: You completely, completely misinterpreted that...
- Wanda Sykes: Completely what?
- Larry: I didn't say you had a big ass.
- Wanda Sykes: How am I supposed to take that? You yelled out "Hey, Big Ass Wanda!"
- Larry: No, I didn't say "big ass". I was just saying hello! I was just trying...
- Wanda Sykes: Is *that* how you say "hello"?
- Larry: Uh, well...
- Wanda Sykes: Is that
- [waving]
- Wanda Sykes: "Hey, Big Ass!" Or "Hey, Assy!" "Hey, I know your ass!" What is that? That's not how you say hello, is it?
- Larry: Perhaps not.
- Wanda Sykes: So something about my ass has made you download it and store it in your memory.
- Larry: No, no, that's not so.
- Cheryl David: [under her breath] Oh, brother.
- Wanda Sykes: [to Cheryl] What is wrong with this man?
- Cheryl David: I don't know. We were just having this discussion.
- Wanda Sykes: Did you tell him how wrong it is to even say something like that?
- Cheryl David: Yeah! Believe me, I told him.
- Wanda Sykes: You know, a woman's ass is very personal.
- Cheryl David: I didn't know he was so obsessed with asses until today.
- Larry: What? What are you saying?
- Wanda Sykes: This man... you know what? You have an ass man. Larry, you are an ass man.
- Larry: I am not an ass man!
- Wanda Sykes: [pointing at Larry] You are an ass man.
- Cheryl David: He's got some sort of fetish that I didn't even know about.
- Larry: What? A fetish? Hey, I don't have any ass fetish, okay? Let me get that straight.
- Cheryl David: He's obsessed with asses. I'm just finding that out.
- Larry: Obsessed with asses? I am not obsessed with asses.
- Wanda Sykes: OK, assy. And what is that, that shit all over you? What you been doing, scrounging around looking for asses? All under the bleachers and stuff, "oh, where's the ass?"
- Cheryl David: By the way, why did you tell Wanda she has a big ass?
- Larry: I didn't tell Wanda she had a big ass.
- Cheryl David: She just called me and told me.
- Larry: I didn't say she had a big ass, OK? I yelled out the window and I said "I'd know that tush anywhere." That's all I said.
- Cheryl David: Why would you do that? Why would you even comment about her ass?
- Larry: Why, what's the big deal?
- Cheryl David: Because you might as well just call out and say, "Hey, you got a really big ass." It's the same thing.
- Larry: It was just a friendly remark, that's all.
- Cheryl David: That's a friendly remark?
- Larry: Yeah, I was just being nice! I was being nice and chummy!
- Cheryl David: You don't yell a comment about a woman's ass. There's only one way to take it.
- Larry: No, no. If she had a small ass I could have said "I'd know that tush anywhere." So what?
- Cheryl David: You shouldn't say anything at all. You know, you just shouldn't talk about it.
- Larry: Anyway, why, what's the big deal? What if I did say she has a big ass? So what? That's not so terrible. What's the matter with a big ass? I like big asses, there's no problem.
- Cheryl David: [laughs sardonically] You like big asses?
- Larry: I don't mind a big ass. I mean, no, not necessarily big...
- Cheryl David: [getting mad] No no no, no, this is interesting. You love big asses?
- Larry: No, I don't love big asses!
- Cheryl David: How big do you like them?
- Larry: I like them just the regular, I like them just like yours, okay?
- Cheryl David: Oh-hoh!...
- Larry: That's how I like 'em.
- Cheryl David: ...because mine is, uh, REALLY BIG and I like 'em big!
- Larry: No, it's not really big. It's not. It's a good size.
- Cheryl David: That's what you just said, you just said "I love big asses and I like yours!"
- Larry: [stammering] No, I said I don't mind 'em. I like your... yeah, I like, you know, uh...
- Cheryl David: Ah, you see? There are a lot of things about you that I don't know
- Larry: NO! There's nothing about me! You're not finding anything... you think you're finding out something?
- Cheryl David: Yeah, I didn't even know you have this... ASS fetish.
- Larry: Don't say I have... I don't have an ass fetish!
- Cheryl David: No no, this is very kinky. It's like all this stuff is unfolding now.
- Jeff Greene's Mom: Why did you have to put those clothes of Jeff's, just throw them in the back...
- Larry: Why, why...
- Jeff Greene's Mom: Why did you have to throw them in the trunk on top of a dirty old tire? Why?
- Larry: There's obviously something wrong with me.
- Jeff Greene's Mom: That's the question.
- Larry: Yeah, what is wrong with me. That's the question.
- Jeff Greene's Mom: Why would anyone do that? A person wouldn't do that.
- Larry: Cause I don't have a closet in my house. I'm just used to throwing things around like that.
- Jeff Greene's Mom: And throwing them on the floor?
- Larry: I throw them on the floor, that's how all my clothes are at home. All on the floor. I don't even have a bed, I sleep on a big pile of clothes.
- Jeff Greene's Mom: Well, it's just disgusting!
- Larry: I'm a disgusting man.
- Thor: Hey jabroni, open the window!
- Larry: [rolling down the car window] I'm-I'm-I'm, I'm awfully sorry...
- Thor: I didn't ask your opinion. I've got three kids in there scared half to death because some bald-headed TURD is shooting at them.
- Larry: No, sir, we were, we were playing "Cowboys And Indians".
- Thor: Hey, you heard of Columbine? It's idiots like you that cause this whole society to be goin' crazy with violence!
- Larry: No, I'm not a violent...
- Thor: Shut up! You know what you're looking at? You are looking at 245 pounds of twisted steel and drop-your-bony-butt-to-the-curb-appeal. I will body-slam you so hard that you will poop your bald pants. You hear me?
- Larry: Yes sir.
- Thor: Don't you ever... *ever*... EVER point another finger at my kids again because if you do, I will break it off and shove it right up your sphincter. You hear me?
- Larry: Yes sir.