- [Cliff is appearing on Jeopardy]
- Alex Trebek: Let's go to Cliff and get his Final Jeopardy answer. "Who are people who have never been in my kitchen?" I'm sorry, that is wrong.
- Cliff: Wait a minute, Alex. I can offer conclusive proof that those three people have never been in my kitchen.
- Alex Trebek: Well, I'm sure they haven't, but obviously that's not what we were going for when we wrote up that clue.
- Cliff: Obvious to who?
- Alex Trebek: Cliff, it's alright, you don't have to worry. Unless you risked more than $21,600, you will be our new Jeopardy champion. So, let's take a look and see what your wager was.
- [Cliff's wager is revealed]
- Alex Trebek: "22,000 big ones?" That takes you down to zero. You bet it all, Cliff! Why would you do something like that?
- Cliff: Because I knew that those people had never been in my kitchen!
- [Woody answers the phone]
- Woody Boyd: Sam, it's for you. Someone named Carmen.
- Sam Malone: [excitedly] Carmen. As in "Carmen get it"?
- Cliff Clavin: [yells to everyone in the bar] All right guys. I guess you heard the story. I guess everyone knows by now, huh? I'm nothing but a loser.
- Pete: [pats Cliff on the back sympathetically] Oh, it's OK, Cliff. We understand.
- Cliff Clavin: I can't believe I lost on Jeopardy!
- Pete: Oh, you were on Jeopardy?
- Rebecca Howe: Why am I in the list of women you gone to bed with?
- Sam Malone: They're not all the women that I've gone to bed with. Just the important women in my life, you know. I mean, the women I gone to bed with, my cleaninglady, ahh... my mother and you. 'course now that I've gone to bed with my cleaninglady that just leaves them, mom and... you.
- Norm Peterson: Could I have another beer?
- Rebecca Howe: I dont see any money Norm.
- Norm Peterson: Yeah... yup. I really should go hit that bank machine I guess. But I hope on the way out I don't happen to just inadvertently mention that one thin Carla and I happen to know about you.
- Rebecca Howe: Shut up Norm and drink your free beer.
- Norm Peterson: This bluffing thing is a goldmine.
- Carla LeBec: Yes, I've given you a wonderful gift my son. You must use it for good only, never for evil.
- Norm Peterson: Free beer is good, right?
- Carla LeBec: You learn fast, young Norm.
- Sam Malone: Makes me feel kind of good to turn a kid like that around.
- Rebecca Howe: Yep, you're a regular Father Flanagan.
- Sam Malone: Well, you know what I always say: There are no bad boys, just boys with bad haircuts.