- Dr. Frasier Crane: Norm! I think there's a lesson to be learned here. You alowed the evil side of your nature to rise up and now threaten to destroy everything you built. Let it go no further. Time has come to reject your darker self.
- Norm Peterson: Thank you Obi-Wan Kenobi.
- [Sam is interviewing potential buyers for his Corvette]
- Sam Malone: This'll be pretty simple, here. Just a few multiple choice questions.
- Dennis Hammill: Great. Shoot.
- Sam Malone: Number one. It's high noon. You're driving in Harvard Square. Parking is limited. Do you: A. park in a handicap zone. B. park in a regular spot under a tree. C. drive around till a space opens up.
- Dennis Hammill: C.
- Sam Malone: [rants] What, are you nuts? I can't believe it, man. It's a trick question. You don't drive this baby at high noon, man. Sun damage, bucko. What the hell's wrong with you? What do you want to do, oxydize the paint? Get out of here, you make me sick. I can't believe it, he wants to drive my car, high noon in Harvard Square...
- Norm Peterson: [about his alter ego, Anton Kreitzer] Rudy, Rudy, Rudy, come on now, I'm not Kreitzer, I'm Norm Peterson. I swear to God, I can prove it to you. Watch this.
- [yells to everyone in the bar]
- Norm Peterson: Afternoon everyone.
- Everybody in the Bar: Anton!
- Gordon: Is Sam Malone here?
- Carla LeBec: He'll be back in a minute. Can I give him a message?
- Gordon: Well, I want to let him know right away. I got his test results back. I'm afraid he's got a serious blockage.
- Carla LeBec: Oh God, his heart?
- Gordon: No, his fuel line. I'm Sam's mechanic.
- Carla LeBec: Oh my God, it's the Corvette. Why couldn't it have been his heart?