- [Coach's cigar is stinking up the bar]
- Sam Malone: Ooh, boy. Is someone boiling tar in here?
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: No, Sam, I'm smoking my cigar.
- Sam Malone: Would someone please boil some tar in here?
- Sam Malone: Cliffy, you want to go fishing with us?
- Cliff Clavin: [responds sarcastically] Well, that's OK Sam, I don't want to infringe on you and Norm's good time.
- Norm Peterson: You're going to have to if you want to come along.
- Sam Malone: What's new, Normie?
- Norm Peterson: Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach. They're demanding beer.
- Frasier Crane: [walks into the bar looking a little down] Oh, hello Diane.
- Diane Chambers: Hi Frasier.
- [they give each other a quick kiss]
- Diane Chambers: Frasier, your lips are troubled.
- Carla Tortelli: No wonder. Look at the hell he puts them through.
- Diane Chambers: There's no such thing as a snipe hunt. They played a childish prank on you.
- Frasier Crane: I know that.
- Diane Chambers: What?
- Frasier Crane: Good Lord, Diane, a man does not crouch in the woods for two hours without having a revelation or two.
- Diane Chambers: So this is part of a plan, and I unwittingly helped you?
- Frasier Crane: Yes.
- Diane Chambers: Frasier, how devious. But why didn't you tell me?
- Frasier Crane: Well, I couldn't trust you. You'd have thought it was too cruel.
- Diane Chambers: Oh, are you kidding? I would have helped. Frasier, this is so unlike you.
- Frasier Crane: No, but it's what guys do, darling: we screw each other to the wall.
- [laughs]
- Frasier Crane: Boy, it's great to be one of the gang, I'll tell you.
- Diane Chambers: Sam.
- Sam Malone: What?
- Diane Chambers: There's one other thing I want you to know. Lord knows why, but Frasier thinks of you as a friend. As a matter of fact, he thinks of you as one of his closest friends.
- Sam Malone: Get out of here.
- Diane Chambers: He does Sam.
- Sam Malone: Gee, what a boob, boo, bootiful guy...