Cheers (TV Series)
The Groom Wore Clearasil (1985)
Rhea Perlman: Carla Tortelli
Photos
Quotes
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Carla Tortelli : Where's Diane anyway?
Sam Malone : Ah, I gave her the night off. She trying to interview for a TA job down at the college.
Carla Tortelli : She'll never get it. She's a big A with no T's.
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Carla Tortelli : [about Anthony's behavior] Do you know who I hold responsible for this? Nick.
Woody Boyd : Who's Nick?
Carla Tortelli : He's Anthony's father - his biological father.
Woody Boyd : Wow, a scientist.
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Carla Tortelli : [about Carla's son, marrying] What did you tell my kid, huh?
Sam Malone : Well, basically, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.
Woody Boyd : Well, I'll tell you why: companionship, warmth on a cold night, someone to share your old age with.
Norm Peterson : You think he should marry her?
Woody Boyd : I thought we were talking about a cow?
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Carla Tortelli : [about her son, Anthony, wanting to get married] You're only sixteen.
Anthony Tortelli : You were pregnant when you were sixteen.
Carla Tortelli : Yeah, but I wasn't stupid enough to be married.
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Carla Tortelli : Let me fill in on something, Annie. There are three things you can say about Tortelli men. One, they draw women like flies. Two, they treat women like flies. Three, their brains are in their flies.
Annie Tortelli : And one more thing: they throw away the best women.
Carla Tortelli : You know, for a loser, you're not bad.
Annie Tortelli : Ditto, Mrs. T.