Cheers (TV Series)

The Groom Wore Clearasil (1985)

Shelley Long: Diane Chambers

Quotes 

• Professor Moffat : This looks excellent, Miss Chambers, I'd have to say on the basis of this resume that, uh, you're my leading candidate.

  Diane Chambers : Oh, I can't tell you how thrilled I am. I think you're the best in your department. I'd love to work with you.

  Professor Moffat : Well good - now do have to interview a couple of people tomorrow, but I'll be letting you know anon.

  Diane Chambers : Terribly good to hear the king's English.

  [Both laugh] 

  Professor Moffat : Thank you for coming.

  Diane Chambers : Ah, my pleasure.

  Professor Moffat : Oh by the way, I got an excellent recommendation for you.

  Diane Chambers : Recommendation?

  Professor Moffat : Hmm, hmm, from Sumner Sloane, he's a colleague of mine. You used to work for him, right?

  Diane Chambers : That's right, how nice of him, lovely man, Sumner.

  Professor Moffat : He gave you VERY high marks.

  [Diane smiles uncertainly] 

  Professor Moffat : .

  Diane Chambers : Well, goodbye.

  [Closes door, then reopens it soon after, and comes in again] 

  Diane Chambers : High marks? What exactly did you mean by that?

  Professor Moffat : Well, among other things that you have an unbridled enthusiasm.

  Diane Chambers : Ah, I see. Well, goodbye.

  [Exists and reenters soon thereafter] 

  Diane Chambers : I'm a little unclear on 'enthusiasm'?

  Professor Moffat : Well, enthusiasm, that you don't mind taking on extra duties and working overtime if necessary.

  Diane Chambers : Of course that's what he meant, what else could he mean?

  [laughs] 

  Diane Chambers : Goodbye.

  [Smiles at the professor, exits again and almost immediately bursts back into the room] 

  Diane Chambers : . I will NOT sleep with you!

  Professor Moffat : What?

  Diane Chambers : Oh my god, I can't believe I said that.

  Professor Moffat : I think that concludes our interview.

  Diane Chambers : Dr. Moffatt, I'm terribly sorry, I didn't for a moment mean to imply that you wanted to have sex with me. I'm sure that's the farthest thing from your mind. Not... that you don't have a healthy interest in sex, I'm sure you think about it all the time. Well, not all the time, you're not obsessed, but when it comes to sex, I'm sure you could hold your own with a man half your age.

  [pauses] 

  Diane Chambers : That's not to say that you like young men. Or any men. Not that any man wouldn't be happy to have you! As would any woman. Except me. Although I could be, but I'm not. But that's not saying that I couldn't be. It just isn't the time or the place or the circumstance. But by that I'm certainly not saying that you're flabby.

  [to herself] 

  Diane Chambers : Why?

  [as he exits] 

  Diane Chambers : . This isn't going well, is it?