- Dr. Frasier Crane: I'll tell you Woody, the psychiatric profession can really get rough sometimes. I think if I hear one more person telling me about one more problem, I'll explode.
- Woody Boyd: I know just how you feel, Dr. Crane.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Actually, I suppose you do. Our professions are really very much alike. We both have to listen patiently while people unload their grief and suffering. Sometimes it's just more than I can bear.
- Woody Boyd: I know just how you feel, Dr. Crane.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: If only I had your ability to listen to a person's problem, sympathize with them, and yet still go on about my business calmly and happily. How to do you it, Wood?
- Woody Boyd: I know just how you feel, Dr. Crane.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: You're not listening to me, are you?
- Woody Boyd: I know just how you feel, Dr. Crane.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: How about a double scotch rocks.
- Woody Boyd: Coming right up.
- Diane Chambers: [about Sam's little black book, which Woody has in his hands] Wait a minute. Do you think it's proper to be rifling through a man's personal papers, no matter how close a friend, no matter how close...
- Woody Boyd: Miss Chambers, you're in here.
- Diane Chambers: Give me that.
- [grabs the book from Woody]
- Diane Chambers: [reads] "Diane Chambers. Probably the most incredible woman I ever met. Don't you agree Diane?" Well...
- [realizes what she's read, drops the book and storms off]
- [Desiree, an older woman, has just agreed to go out for a coffee with Woody]
- Desiree Harrison: This isn't going to turn into one of those May-December romances, is it?
- Woody Boyd: With the holidays coming up, December's no good, but May's OK.
- Woody Boyd: I feel so ashamed. Promise not to tell my mother?
- Diane Chambers: Mum's the word.
- Woody Boyd: Promise not to tell my mum?
- Woody Boyd: So you're Desiree.
- Desiree Harrison: Yeah.
- Woody Boyd: Hi, I'm Woody. Can I get your coat?
- Carla Tortelli: What's *she* doing here?
- Cliff Clavin: Er, that's Woody's date.
- Carla Tortelli: Woody's going out with Sam's cleaning lady?
- Norm Peterson: Cleaning lady?
- Carla Tortelli: Right. Sam says she's the best.
- Woody Boyd: So how are you?
- [Shaking Desiree's hand]
- Desiree Harrison: Fine - shall we get started?
- Woody Boyd: Ri-right here?
- Desiree Harrison: Here... or in the back if you prefer.
- Woody Boyd: But don't you want to eat dinner first?
- Desiree Harrison: Nooo, I'd like to get right to it. I'll stop to eat when I get a little tired.
- Woody Boyd: Wow.
- Desiree Harrison: I figure you probably have your own equipment. If not, I have mine out in the car.
- Woody Boyd: What sort of equipment?
- Desiree Harrison: Well, the first thing we'll need is a bucket.
- Woody Boyd: Really?
- Desiree Harrison: Yeah, and some rubber gloves and one of those really hard brushes with the long handle.
- Woody Boyd: You gotta be kidding me.
- Desiree Harrison: I'll need *something* to get to those hard to reach places.
- Woody Boyd: Would you excuse me for a moment please?
- [Goes to the back end of the bar]
- Woody Boyd: Hey guys, I think there's things about Sam that we don't know.