Cheers (TV Series)

Someday My Prince Will Come (1985)

Shelley Long: Diane Chambers

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stuart Sorensen : Listen, Diane, about that date. I realize we made it over the phone and well, here's your chance to back out.

  Diane Chambers : This lady's not going to let you off that easily.

  Sam Malone : But it was a nice try there, Stuart.

• Sam Malone : Oh, come on Diane. On a scale of one to ten, with me being a twelve of course, where are you going to rate Stuart?

  Diane Chambers : Let's change that to IQ. While your score would remain twelve, his would skyrocket.

  Sam Malone : It's too bad you're not going to be gazing across the table at his IQ.

  Diane Chambers : Why don't you just admit you're jealous.

  Sam Malone : All right, I am. You're right, but can you blame me?

  Diane Chambers : Sam, are you saying what I think you're saying?

  Sam Malone : You bet I am. I'd kill for a car phone.

• Diane Chambers : Might I speak with you briefly?

  Sam Malone : You might, but I don't think you will.

• Diane Chambers : After all these years, I have to admit it, I'm all talk.

  Sam Malone : Oh, well of course you are honey, but we've all gotten used to that.

• Diane Chambers : As often happens in my life, this gentleman is becoming much too serious much too fast. He's wearing that smitten look I know so well. I've got to do something before it goes any further.

  Sam Malone : Uh-huh. I see.

  Diane Chambers : For the first time in my life, I can't bring myself to tell the truth to a man, so I need a lie. And God forgive me, I'm coming to you for help.

  Sam Malone : Well, I'm flattered. Um, all right, let me, let me give this a little thought here. All right, all right, I've never passed this one on before, but I think it's the ticket here. It's neat, it's fast, clean, and best of all, it makes them want them want to get away from you. Here's what you do. Tell him you have a contagious skin condition, and that insanity runs in your family.

  Diane Chambers : [mockingly]  Very sensitive.

  Sam Malone : Thank you. It's a gift.

  Diane Chambers : Sam, I have never been more grateful to you than I am now. I just looked into the face of insensitivity and dishonesty and it made me blanch. I am going out there and I am going to break up with Stuart, but I'm going to do it honestly, straightforwardly and yet caringly. I'll tell him the truth of my feelings: that I'm not attracted to him romantically, although I am very attracted to him as a friend. And I'll say it a way that, that he will accept and understand and be grateful for. Do you even begin to understand what I'm trying to say?

  Sam Malone : Everything except the part where you changed your name to Blanche.

  Diane Chambers : Good-bye Sam.

  Sam Malone : Good-bye Blanche.

• Diane Chambers : Didn't you ever fantasize about me?

  Sam Malone : Yeah, I guess I did.

  Diane Chambers : And I you. What did you fantasize about?

  Sam Malone : Mostly you'd stop using phrases like, "and I you".

• Woody Boyd : Hey, um, Miss Chambers?

  Diane Chambers : Uh-huh?

  Woody Boyd : I've been meaning to tell you, I really like your friend Stuart.

  Diane Chambers : Oh, thank you Woody.

  Woody Boyd : Hey, do you think you could get him to do that great trick for me?

  Diane Chambers : What trick?

  Woody Boyd : The one Sam says he does when he makes the clock stop by just looking at it.

• Sam Malone : Boy, you know what's wrong with you? You just can't be honest with yourself. Looks are all that ever mattered to you.

  Diane Chambers : What are you talking about? That is utterly... inaccurate.

  Sam Malone : Oh, yeah. You want me to prove it to you?

  Diane Chambers : Yes!

  Sam Malone : Who were you more crazy about than anyone else in your entire life, not including yourself there? Don't answer. It was me. And there was only one reason why you ever went out with me and that was because of my looks.

  Diane Chambers : Not entirely.

  Sam Malone : Yes entirely. Name one other reason why anyone would go out with me? Come on, name one. You can't, can you?

  Diane Chambers : [mockingly]  No Sam, I can't.

  [Sam and the guys at the bar laugh at Diane in triumph] 

• Sam Malone : You can't tell what a guy's like by what he's got in his pocket.

  Diane Chambers : I certainly can. What you have in your pockets?

  Sam Malone : Why don't you check it out yourself and you tell me.

  Diane Chambers : I think my point is made.