- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: [Cliff, annoyed with Coach, grabs his tie, places it in the blender and turns the blender on. Coach turns off the blender, takes his tie out and holds it up] Anybody want a mai tai?
- [laughing]
- Diane Chambers: [a knock on Diane's apartment door] Who is it?
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: It's Ernie, Pantusso.
- Diane Chambers: Coach? What do you want?
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Diane, I have to talk to you. It's important.
- Diane Chambers: Coach, you're a dear man, and I love you, and I've missed you, but you're part of a period of my life that I want to see fade into memory. Do you understand Coach?
- [pause]
- Diane Chambers: Coach?
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: [long pause] Western Union.
- Norm Peterson: Sammy, I just want to say this because you're my friend. Don't get all defensive, but maybe you are drinking a little more than you should.
- Sam Malone: Well, so are you.
- Norm Peterson: I already have a mother, lush face.
- Norm Peterson: Coach, you've had kids. Does a baby change you?
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Are you kidding Normie, it can't even change itself.
- Diane Chambers: After I left here, I decided that I needed to regroup, I needed to go someplace and take a good look at myself.
- Carla Tortelli: Ah, shock treatment.
- Cliff Clavin: [Talking at the bar with Coach and Norm about Sam having fun in his office with two costumed cheerleaders] Alright, look, look, what difference does it make how it started? The important thing is, is there anything we can do to stop 'em? If we can't stop 'em, is there anything we can do to join 'em?
- [More sounds of gaiety float from behind Sam's office door]
- Cliff Clavin: If we can't join 'em do you think they'd let me watch?
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: [Bar phone rings, Coach answers] Cheers! Uh huh. Yup, I'll give him the message. Normie, it's Vera, she says to hurry home - her cycle is at its peak.
- Norm Peterson: Again? Her cycle has more peaks than the Adirondacks.
- Cliff Clavin: All systems are go there, big fella.
- Norm Peterson: Even Secretariat got to wait till he was in the mood once in a while.
- [Exits bar to most of them singing "Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it"]
- Norm Peterson: Well, I'm back.
- [Chorus of 'Norm!']
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: What'll it be, Normie?
- Norm Peterson: A transfusion with a head on it.
- Carla Tortelli: Norman, are you sure you want to have a kid? You know, once the monster comes along, your whole life is gonna be different.
- Norm Peterson: Yeah?
- Carla Tortelli: Yeah!
- Norm Peterson: Coach, you've had kids - does a baby change you?
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: You kidding, Normie? It can't even change itself!