- Carla Tortelli: [after Eddie's French-speaking mother leaves the bar] I get the feeling she wasn't nuts about me.
- Carla Tortelli: [looks at Frasier] What did she say?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: What makes you think I'd know?
- Carla Tortelli: All you pompous windbags speak French.
- Norm Peterson: [reading a sleazy tabloid] Geez, Cliff, listen to this. "Scientists Discover Wild Parrot Who Claims to Be Elvis".
- Cliff Clavin: So?
- Norm Peterson: So? I mean, this one wins the "Too Stupid For Even You Cliff" award.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [exasperated] Oh, really. Must you two wallow in this sensationalistic tripe? I mean, it pains me no end to see America's wits dulled and their morals abrogated by this opiate to the asses.
- Norm Peterson: Well, check this out, Cliffy. "I was Sigmund Freud's Love Child".
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [totally excited] No?
- [Frasier runs back to Norm and grabs the tabloid paper and tries to find the story]
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I've heard rumors they betrayed Martha with his sister-in-law, but I never dreamed there'd be progeny.
- [reads further. can't find the story. learns he's been had]
- Dr. Frasier Crane: You rapscallions.
- Eddie LeBec: Say, you know, ah, since I'm already here, there's something I wanted to ask you.
- Carla Tortelli: Yeah?
- Eddie LeBec: It's a question.
- Carla Tortelli: I like questions.
- Eddie LeBec: OK, but see, this is the kind of question a guy really doesn't want to ask if he thinks he might get "no" for an answer.
- Carla Tortelli: Well, it's kind of hard for a girl to give an answer until she knows what the question is.
- Eddie LeBec: OK, but you see, it would be a lot easier for a guy if he had some sort of sign...
- Carla Tortelli: [excited] Ask me, you little frog.
- Eddie LeBec: OK, Carla, would you...
- Carla Tortelli: [climbs over the table to Eddie, exited] Yes! Yes!
- [Carla gives Eddie a series of big kisses]
- Eddie LeBec: Oh, oh, oh, wait, wait wait. Carla, would you mind if we, if we kept this quiet? You know me, I don't like a lot of hoopla.
- Carla Tortelli: Oh, yeah. Sorry. Would it be OK if I just told Sam?
- Eddie LeBec: [sheepishly] I guess.
- Carla Tortelli: [starts to run toward Sam and yells at the top of her lungs] Hey Sammy. Me and Eddie are getting married!
- Carla Tortelli: [gets off the phone with her doctor and yells in horror] Twins?
- Carla Tortelli: [about Eddie] He spills the salt, he breaks the mirror, and I'm the one having twins. I told you something horrible was going to happen.
- Eddie LeBec: What is so bad? Twins means we're twice blessed.
- Sam Malone: Yeah! I had twins once, and it was the happiest day of my life.
- Sam Malone: I'm mixing them a batch of my good luck wedding punch.
- Woody Boyd: Isn't that the same stuff you made when you got married to Miss Chambers?
- Sam Malone: Woody, you wanna flush this down the toilet?
- Annie Tortelli: [about herself and husband Anthony] Actually, Mother Tortelli, we didn't want to return to Vegas. We don't think it's any place for children to grow up.
- Carla Tortelli: You're having a kid?
- Annie Tortelli: I'm talking about us.
- Rebecca Howe: Carla. Here's your final paycheque. I might say that you have been a unique employee, and it's going to be very difficult to fill your uniform.
- Carla Tortelli: Thanks.
- Rebecca Howe: You don't happen to know any other short, pregnant cocktail waitresses, do you?