- Diane Chambers: Woody, I want to speak metaphysically.
- Woody Boyd: And you need money for the language lessons, no problem.
- Woody Boyd: Do you guys know a real bookie?
- Sam Malone: I've got a friend who's got a friend who's got a friend.
- Woody Boyd: And he's a bookie?
- Sam Malone: No, but his friend is.
- Sam Malone: I'm in, I'm in, I'm in big, big trouble. I did something that it felt so right when I did it, but now it turns out to be all wrong.
- Diane Chambers: What's her name, and how many months?
- Diane Chambers: Sam, for the first time in your life, you had the right intentions, and it still blew up in your face.
- Diane Chambers: [about a correct bet that Sam never placed with the bookie] We know that Woody actually did pick the winning teams.
- Sam Malone: Yeah, so?
- Diane Chambers: So, why don't you go to the...
- Sam Malone: Bookie.
- Diane Chambers: ...bookie and tell him that you honestly intended to wager on the winning teams and see if he won't give you the money.
- Sam Malone: That's a good idea. While I'm at it, why don't I just tell him that I meant to bet on all the winning teams since 1975?
- Diane Chambers: Can you do that?
- Sam Malone: Please!
- Diane Chambers: I think Schopenhauer put it aptly when he said Noise is the most contemptuous of all forms of interruption.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Impertinent!
- Diane Chambers: Excuse me?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: What you were trying to say was Noise is the most *impertinent* of all forms of interruption. She said contemptuous. Can you believe that?
- Al: I thought I'd have a conniption.