- Cliff Clavin: Say, would you to go in the back and maybe, play some pool? Or as they say in Tallahassee, 'shoot some pocket billiards?'
- Tinker Bell: I'd love to, Mr Leon.
- Cliff Clavin: Oh please, call me Ponce.
- Tinker Bell: [taking her beer, and leading the way to the pool room in the back of the bar] It looks like you're out to conquer new territory, Ponce.
- Cliff Clavin: [leaning against the bar after hearing her last words] Holy, God!
- Alan: [about Cliff] Sorry Sam, but you gotta admit it's a little bit weird, isn't it? I mean, he's never been married, I've never even seen him with a woman.
- Steve: Hey Norm, Norm, he's your best friend, is he gay or what?
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: I can't believe what I'm hearing. You can't tell a gay guy by his appearance. We had an outfielder on the Red Sox, Duke Roberts. I mean he never got married, he never went with girls, he even wore those fancy Italian shoes, and he lived with a guy who was a florist. And Duke wasn't gay.
- Sam Malone: Yes he was, Coach.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: He was?
- [Sam nods affirmatively]
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Do you think he'd like to meet Cliffy?
- Diane Chambers: What would you call an evening out with a woman when you have absolutely no hope of physical involvement whatsoever?
- Sam Malone: A first.
- Cliff Clavin: I hear there's a tribe of men in the Middle East called the Eschonites, they're entirely celibate, they live without women. Rumour has it, they are the happiest men in the world. Tomorrow, I'm going to send for their brochure.
- [Cliff regales a man in a sheik costume with trivia]
- Shiek: You know, I just remembered. I think I left my oven on.
- [He walks away and heads for the exit]
- Shiek: If I hurry, maybe I can stick my head in it.
- Tinker Bell: [after overhearing Cliff talk about the difference between California oranges and Florida oranges] Florida oranges are delicious.
- Cliff Clavin: ...what?
- Tinker Bell: [a little embarrassed to have spoken] Nothing, nothing.
- Cliff Clavin: ...Uh, have you, uh, been to Florida?
- Tinker Bell: No, but it's always been a crazy dream of mine to go. I hear that they have the world's largest pair of alligator shoes there.
- Cliff Clavin: [shocked] That's right! In Orlando! I even sat in one of 'em!
- Tinker Bell: Wow!
- Cliff Clavin: ...W-what's your name?
- Tinker Bell: T-tinkerbell. What's yours?
- Cliff Clavin: Me? Uh, I guess it's Ponce de Leon.
- Tinker Bell: Oh, the 'Fountain of Youth' guy that discovered Florida!
- Cliff Clavin: [over-excited that she knows who he is dressed as!] Would you marry me and bear my children?